Build a man a fire he’s warm for a day.
Set a man on fire he’s warm for a lifetime.

Maybe if you had spoken to him instead of being so rude…

It fits better diagonally

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy…

And Lisp?

I, a man, can laugh while I murder! No need for me to choose!

It’s a Walmart. Specifically, the Tire and Lube Express.

Nice try, Jar Jar, but your Sith tactics won’t work here.

Hey! I didn’t know xenomorphs were allowed to post on Lemmy!

It’s that 51st state someone keeps claiming…

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That’s not a moon…that’s a space station

Hey! Leave Otto’s girlfriend out of this!

Maybe don’t go after underage trees?

Well, since Jeffrey went and offed himself, he broke the terms of the agreement, didn’t he? Escaping the justice system, eh?
Those “co-conspirators” should have chosen a more stand-up guy.

I never could get the mouse tender enough after catching one.

No…I’m socking you!!! (⁀ᗢ⁀)

This is a shit-free shitpost.
Because of laxatives.

She worked as part of a team of three with the Lion and the Wardrobe…

Had a similar thing 30 years ago when I worked 2nd shift, heading home at night. 5 miles from home, empty 2-lane road 55 mph. Little bunny hopping in my lane towards me. I veered left, it followed. I veered right, it followed. No time left to avoid, THUMP! Sad, but I did what I could in the moment…