There’s an entire genre of tiktok videos out there of women saying things like “So this guy I like asked me out, and I said no, and he was like okay bye and just walked away. What is with men not pursuing women anymore?”
Hmm what was that hashtag popular a few years ago? #nomeanskeepgoing?
“No means no” they said. Meanwhile in this very thread: “I’m actually in love with the guy that stalked me.”
If you want no to mean no, you have to say different things when you mean something other than no. If you want to play hard to get, A) don’t, you suck at it and B) maybe let him know that’s the game you’re playing so he’ll actually try hard to get you instead of just taking a flat rejection at face value; ie don’t just say “no” say “You’ll have to try harder than that” or something that indicates you are open to further attention. What saying “no” when you actually mean “try harder” accomplishes is you filter out the guys who take no for an answer leaving your dating pool only filled with the men who don’t really care that much about consent.
As for the “I turned him down becuase I wasn’t interested in him, then we actually talked and turned out I actually like the guy” story…I guess maybe try actually talking to guys? Even if you don’t cream your gusset at first sight?
Eh, well, people are varied, don’t make the mistake of grouping all behaviours together, if someone says no and then loses a chance, that’s their problem tbh.
Relations and relationships are difficult, so as always, tolerance and understanding are key… of course there’s context, “no means no” was used in the context of sexual intercourse, there’s not much room for interpretation there.
There’s an entire genre of tiktok videos out there of women saying things like “So this guy I like asked me out, and I said no, and he was like okay bye and just walked away. What is with men not pursuing women anymore?”
Hmm what was that hashtag popular a few years ago? #nomeanskeepgoing?
“No means no” they said. Meanwhile in this very thread: “I’m actually in love with the guy that stalked me.”
If you want no to mean no, you have to say different things when you mean something other than no. If you want to play hard to get, A) don’t, you suck at it and B) maybe let him know that’s the game you’re playing so he’ll actually try hard to get you instead of just taking a flat rejection at face value; ie don’t just say “no” say “You’ll have to try harder than that” or something that indicates you are open to further attention. What saying “no” when you actually mean “try harder” accomplishes is you filter out the guys who take no for an answer leaving your dating pool only filled with the men who don’t really care that much about consent.
As for the “I turned him down becuase I wasn’t interested in him, then we actually talked and turned out I actually like the guy” story…I guess maybe try actually talking to guys? Even if you don’t cream your gusset at first sight?
Eh, well, people are varied, don’t make the mistake of grouping all behaviours together, if someone says no and then loses a chance, that’s their problem tbh.
Relations and relationships are difficult, so as always, tolerance and understanding are key… of course there’s context, “no means no” was used in the context of sexual intercourse, there’s not much room for interpretation there.