Reminisce about when you were a kid and things you did then. Tell them things you didn’t when you were a kid, things that happened at school, or things you did with friends, etc. Ask about other family members or their old friends, etc. Ask your mom how to make that comfort food that you’ve tried and can’t get quite right. It doesn’t need to be deep, they just want to spend time with their kid, whom they love, before they die.

You have stories, everyone does, and so do they. Tell them yours and that might prompt them to tell theirs.

There’s an art to small talk. A language barrier makes it a challenge.

And that’s what it seems your mom is looking for as the foundation of conversation on your end. But, I suspect she’s more wanting you to listen than necessarily talk. If you start by asking about her, I suspect that it’ll go smoother because you’ll input what topics she’s thinking of the most and be able to adapt better.

And yes, that does seem a bit narcissistic. But sometimes parents just want us to show we care, in ways that they can grasp easily. I can’t call it narcissism in terms of it being bad though. It’s just part of the human condition. Parents often want updates on their grown kids, but they’ve also spent decades worrying about and focused on the kids, so there’s an assumption that the degree of interest will point back at some point.

And, up to a point, it should. As we age up, there should come a point when we start looking at our parents as full people, taking an interest in them as more than our support network.

So keep it simple. Ask more questions about what she’s doing. See if that helps. If it doesn’t, then there’s other stuff you can try

Bring a bunch of random hard copy photographs (rocks, buildings, bookcases, buckets, shoes or literally anything). Point at each of them individually and say “huh, how about that” after pointing do the /are you impressed/ thing with your eyebrows. I promise some conversation will spark at some of them.

Maybe letting her talk first could help you find out what she wants to talk about?

For what it is worth, I struggle with this too. It is important to remember the humans on the other side of the conversation and step into their shoes. I don’t know what it is like to be a parent since I am not one, but I can sympathize with unfulfillingness of having a weird kid. Their purpose in life was to raise you for quite some number of years. Society has shaped their expectations on what a kid should be like. I don’t really have anything in common with my parents or talk to them often and it frustrates them, too. If you don’t want to talk to them, tell them that. That’s better than ghosting them at least, which I am guilty of.

My mom and I usually just talked shit about Dad. Dad and I don’t talk much cause we have basically nothing in common. There’s times one of us will start rambling about so.ethimg we found interesting, but it’s more just to say it than to actually have a conversation. Sometimes that’s nice, like venting into the void of the Internet can be nice.

Ask her if she is going to get the bathtub fixed.

I have the same problem, but it is with everyone, small talks just dont work in my brain

in my case I do have an autism diagnosis

Try talking about your feelings.

cuz I’ve been using English since 8 and its my primary lanfuage

We could all use a little practice.

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They’re boring. I have family like this. Snore. Surround yourself with better people. Families suck.