The people who say that shit are almost always… the ones who do that shit. Every woman I know whines about shallow horny non-committal men… was talking about her own behavior and just blaming men for it. whenever they would meet a new guy they would go off about his looks and his money and other shallow traits, and then they would say they knew he wouldn’t commit but they didn’t care and would date him anway, and then if he didn’t commit she’d be so upset, but if he did commit… she’d dump him because there was ‘something wrong with him’. etc etc
Just like dudes who complain about shallow gold diggers… are mostly shallow gold diggers themselves.
Every woman I know whines about shallow horny non-committal men…
This really seems like some sort of cognitive bias, maybe Clustering Illusion?
She sees the horny non-committal men because they make obvious advances towards her (and, for that matter, she reciprocates).
The results of how men behave when she makes the first move, is first limited to the men she makes a move on first. That sounds confusing as hell but I don’t know how else to write it.
I don’t really want to figure out the ( n(n-1) / n) number of potential outcomes between which person makes an advance first, whether or not they are (interested/reciprocate; not interested/do not reciprocate; do not notice), and then further how the originator reacts and the outcome of the interaction.
Needless to say, though, I imagine the number of men who do not reciprocate on her “first move”, either intentionally or not, would be significantly bottlenecked by the amount of people with whom she makes the first move to begin with.
There’s also the coy/flirty method of “playing hard to get” vs a lack of interest being interpreted as such.
It’s not that complicated, it’s because she’s attracted to those men and she regard healthier attitudes as unattractive in men. A lot of people have warped attitudes about romantic relationships and are repulsed by healthy people and seek out problematic ones.
The tropes are projection.
The people who say that shit are almost always… the ones who do that shit. Every woman I know whines about shallow horny non-committal men… was talking about her own behavior and just blaming men for it. whenever they would meet a new guy they would go off about his looks and his money and other shallow traits, and then they would say they knew he wouldn’t commit but they didn’t care and would date him anway, and then if he didn’t commit she’d be so upset, but if he did commit… she’d dump him because there was ‘something wrong with him’. etc etc
Just like dudes who complain about shallow gold diggers… are mostly shallow gold diggers themselves.
This really seems like some sort of cognitive bias, maybe Clustering Illusion?
She sees the horny non-committal men because they make obvious advances towards her (and, for that matter, she reciprocates).
The results of how men behave when she makes the first move, is first limited to the men she makes a move on first. That sounds confusing as hell but I don’t know how else to write it.
I don’t really want to figure out the
( n(n-1) / n)number of potential outcomes between which person makes an advance first, whether or not they are (interested/reciprocate; not interested/do not reciprocate; do not notice), and then further how the originator reacts and the outcome of the interaction.Needless to say, though, I imagine the number of men who do not reciprocate on her “first move”, either intentionally or not, would be significantly bottlenecked by the amount of people with whom she makes the first move to begin with.
There’s also the coy/flirty method of “playing hard to get” vs a lack of interest being interpreted as such.
Relationships are complicated.
It’s not that complicated, it’s because she’s attracted to those men and she regard healthier attitudes as unattractive in men. A lot of people have warped attitudes about romantic relationships and are repulsed by healthy people and seek out problematic ones.