get out of bed. brush your teeth. take a shower. get dressed. put on jeans. specifically jeans if you got em’. and a shirt. with underwear and socks.

if you have to do this where one day you get out of bed. thats good. thats a step. maybe tomorrow get out of bed, and go brush your teeth. and the next day get out of bed, brush your teeth, and shower. and so on. the big step is going outside. maybe just opening a window and breathing the air. or standing in your doorway and letting the light hit you for a bit is quite nice.

then maybe after doing this routine for a bit, you can throw on some shoes and go for a walk. maybe just around the yard. maybe the block. wherever you want. bring some music with you or a book. maybe head to a park and enjoy it. take the time to breathe that fresh air, even if its cold out right now. it helps. especially the sun light.

maybe after this try jogging? or maybe some light weights? or just calisthetics if you can. bit by bit. doesnt have to be every day. could be one day a week, then two, maybe three, four, five or six. and then some rest.

then when you feel like your up for it. find a new hobby, or an old one. and enjoy it. learn from it. from yourself.

live your life. enjoy it. theres no expectation from the universe. just experience this life and take joy from it where you can. and value the suffering as well. for it gives you the ability to appreciate the joy of play, and play is anything that brings you fulfillment. could be cooking, friends, music, sports, whatever.

have fun man, dont take life too seriously, nobody ever gets out alive, and thats okay. one day at a time.

after you figured that all out, and if you want a job, maybe get one you find interesting if anything. view it as a stepping stone, an experience, not a career you are a slave to, just…something to do. every day life will teach you something in ways you never expected. and one day in the future life will call upon you to remember what you learned, and you can choose whether or not to apply those lessons as you see fit. you decide your purpose. and thats not meant to pressure you, in fact it releases you from the percieved universal expectation of purpose nearly all of us feel.

you are free. you always have been. you just forgot, brother. its okay. you will get there. i believe in you! carpe diem!

oh they will continue to get more and more rare as the years go by…

0 + 0 = 0 … :(

damn his sexy ankles, making me…feel things

i have a preference for big booty goth latinas, where do i go for that??

that and all the incest that happened back in the day. mennonites and hudderite colonies apparantly had a lot of that going on.

there was a guy names “slap shot abe” and he apparantly was a mentally handicapped man, but may also at one point may not have been. apparantly he did a lot of psychedelics in the 70s and 80s and it fried his brain. he just lost the plot, and started wandering around town with a hocket stick, gloves, and a helmet. and he would just slap rocks and shit as hard he could. hence “slap shot abe”. you would find him just fucking sending it against the wall behind (at the time) only mall. and he had these big thick 70’s glasses kind of similar to bubbles from the trailer park boys. and in the summer, hed be out in shorts and hawaiian shirts, but still had the gloves and the helmet and hockey stick. he also road a bike occaisionally.

i never spoke to him personally, but he wasnt violent as far as i knew. he just drank beer and slap shotted shit all the time.

i think he died a few a while ago. he was my dads age, maybe a decade or so older. dad avoided him when he was younger. but apparantly back then he was still slap shotting shit. so at least he was consistent in his purpose, and earned his name.

RIP slap shot abe.