Just like Mona Lisa, a manga (soon to be anime) where people are born genderless and at 12, they choose which puberty to go through.

Yes I’m trans, why do you ask? 😆 And this whole manga’s concept is making me really dysphoric 😭

You’re obsession makes me want to slap you.

You should

deleted by creator

You’re right…it absolutely doesn’t make much sense. I just…still can’t shake the feeling that this is something I deserve. I’m sorry. I am seeking professional help tho.

This might be something a professional dominatrix can help you safely experiment with - if you have the means to pay one, of course.

You might be right. However, in my mind, a dominatrix is someone that I pay to do this, someone that I have to arrange this with.
Also…this is really fucked, but knowing that it’s all a safe experience…it’s just not what I meant in my post. It’s not what my thoughts tell me to do…they want me to put myself in harm’s way. I don’t think that this would quiet them at all.

I’m really, really sorry for all of this. I’m a terrible person and I almost feel like I’m romanticizing something absolutely terrible…
But I’m not tho. I wish I was romanticizing, I wish I was simply getting off on the idea, I wish it was just fetish…but this is real shit.

Sorry. I can’t say it enough, I really am sorry to everyone here. This is wrong, incredibly so. I’m wrong in the head for even thinking about this. I’m probably wrong for writing this.
I just wish the thoughts would stop.

This is spot on. To the letter. I bet you could even name the exact country I’m from 😆.

This could be why I believe myself to be a bad person subconsciously, however I don’t think it tells the whole story.

As I said, this all started even before my egg crack, when I was relatively “normal”. Even though I did have unusual ideas, like shaving my legs, which the boys told me “only [my country’s equivalent of the F slur for gay men] did”. I probably wasn’t as normal as I remember now, but I definitely tried to fit into the norms.

You’re absolutely right about the majority of things you wrote tho. I’m actually kinda surprised how accurate that is. You even used my username to come to that conclusion…damn.

I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense. My head is a mess right now.

First of all, I would like to thank you for your kind words and for the detailed response.

I’m glad I’m not the only one with these thoughts (am I glad tho??), however it’s still weird and uncomfortable.

If there is one thing I know for sure tho…I absolutely have to tell my therapist about this. It’s kinda getting out of hand, and it gets really bad when I’m not in a good headspace.

I’ll be really honest. I had an exceptionally bad day today. Like, the worst one in a long while.

I feel sick just describing that. This is where the fun ends and shit gets real. I’m a possible danger to myself and it’s time to let someone know, a professional like my therapist. I’ll do that ASAP…

I’m really sorry to anyone reading this. I’m sorry I’m the way I am. I realize how fucked up all of this is. And I swear I’m not making it up either. I really wish I was…

I’m not right in the head. That’s for sure, at least.

deleted by creator

I would say so? It’s an emulator and I personally use it to manage KVM on Linux. Makes my life easier.

Not really sure about the precise details, sorry

FFmpeg and QEMU? Holy shit!
I had no idea

Our math depends on him 🙏

This should be illegal. I’m not even joking