Maybe your employer will accept a statutory declaration instead of a doctor’s certificate. Mine does.

Humans can grow up to eight feet. Most of them only grow posthumously, hence the expression, “six feet under.”

Explanation:

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism it’s just the opposite.

“If elected, I will stop all those other sheep from crossing the border and stealing your food!”

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

Who’s Steve Jobs?

Did he collapse from seeing the rainbow roundabout?

Put them in your shopping bag and sort it out later.

He couldn’t put the book down.

Which one?

Bec de corbin?

I cured my back pain with squats and deadlifts.

See also: Caesar salad.