I was picked on a lot. Now I have a cudgel at the ready for those who try and step on anyone I mentor or my kids.

You’re more patient than I would be in that situation.

First of all, rude.

Second, how dare you.

Thirdly, just because you’re right doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole about it.

I know this, and you know this. Shh. Don’t ruin the meme

No thanks, I prefer my water without a hint of the dead

Thanks, I’ll use this one

I’m irrationality angry about the term ‘bottom soil’ and that it’s below granite

Clubfoot I’m guessing

Probably a clubfoot

David Xanatos is that you?

Idk but I’m spending the night with the chinless wonder

I’m not a fan of censored memes, but they are becoming common and I’m far too lazy to hunt down uncensored ones or fix the ones I find

Lol, you’re describing married life.

With other commitments, kids, etc there is zero spontaneity. Often planned sex falls through because someone is tired or something comes up.

If anything you’re ahead of the curve lol.

If you assume an average ejaculation distance of 9 inches and a nominal speed of 15 mph (this is apparently surprisingly well studied) - you get a data transfer rate of 46,500 TB/s.

I once joked I could jizz faster than my shitty internet connection. Guess I was right

I changed the title so it doesn’t sound like I’m condoning him

What do you call a car cigarette lighter?

A learning experience for a bored kid left in a car

While my guitar gently meeps

A bit more coppery coloured, I think.

Never forget that your job is simply a means to an end and that end is for you to do the things you want to do in life.

Whether it’s just that we have to spend so much time working to do those things is another discussion

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