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All wise, all powerful, just can’t handle money!.. George Carlin.

He knows if your fart is good, so fart good for goodness sake!

Something almost exactly like that happened to me. I bought a house so my money wouldn’t be stagnant and didn’t wanna live away from my parents yet so I rented it. They totally fucked up everything in it.

I’m in Washington State so I guess it is everywhere.

I got my ballot this Monday and half of the spots to be voted on had only one candidate… maybe remove that shit from the ballot and add things like…“would you like Toyota to know where you are when you send emails about your period?” That would be useful.

Double you fucking tee eff? Holybonkerslaw Batman! Now what? Can Motorola take pictures of me while I take a shower watching porn?..err, sending emails?

Friends of Mike Oak.

Biden is president. Things went my way. But let’s imagine that this was how you got lunch.

Hmm, Josh! I want a hamburger!.. okay buddy I promise I’ll bring you a hamburger. I’m just going to be your food delegate in the food acquisition team.

Josh! I want a salad! … and I want a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!. Josh I want an apple! Hey Josh can I get some Doritos crushed in a bowl and mixed with jalapeno and chicken nuggets!

Then Josh goes to the big food acquisition meeting… My team wants a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!

Then you wait half an hour and you get a turkey sandwich but you’re vegan so you eat the three onion rings.

70 percent of the office was vegan too, but only 5 of the food delegates were vegan. The other 20 were old timers that have been ordering the food for the past seven years. They like turkey sandwiches. So you get turkey sandwich.

I hope you enjoy your turkey sandwich 🥪. 😂 LOL. At least it wasn’t a lump of lard with a tupee.

Came to say this.

Newton: “FagMad!”

Coulumb: “Fuckyouare!”

You know, there was a time when people used to go to sears for the good stuff and to Kmart too. Then they screwed up big enough among their competition and now there may be like one or two of those places still open somewhere behind a MacDonalds on a refurbished MatCo truck that used to be a Taco truck too.

I can’t wait for the day Microsoft is finally just some shitty ass UPS truck painted over with their logo still showing a little and three guys in it repairing the last known laptops to ever run windows. I’d adopt a dog just to walk him by and let him pee on the tires.

Microsoft, you’ve done everyone wrong too many times one last time.

Wow, that’s annoying. I’m gonna hold off for windows 12 when the European union forces Microsoft to not be such an asshole.

Try Perplexity.AI It can search the web.

I would!

Good thing they have a kid at the front. That way you are relatively protected from accidental crashes.

Thank you for applying to Tacos El Gordo, are you sure you wanna apply using a PDF resume? Here is a link to LinkedIn where you can start your own online account and apply to this job directly good-bye! Contact use at TacosElGordoHR@linkedin.com.

They used reddit because it has corraled dumb users. Users a no longer around anywhere else in the Internet, just here on social media. And yes, what better place to find dumb users than on reddit!

Pais Ajit? Pronounced “piece of shit”. He broke the Internet allowing some traffic to get faster speeds than other such that YouTube can be fast but if you serve your own it’s slow.

Hey! This is Bob, your friendly NC AI assistant. I noticed all your dick pics had very small dicks so I’ve increased the length to a more respectable 8.5" and requested assistance from your 7 female contacts about girth size. User "your mother " preferred the 1.5 size but was ok with 400% increase “if that’s what you’re into”. You agreed to show your privates in private with user “Neighbor” tonight at 7:30. He suggested silicone lube. All images are uploaded and available for your review on your Facebook timeline. Let me know if I should increase the size or if the color is off. User “Coworker” complained about the color and will be discussing it with your manager and you tomorrow first thing.

How may I be of assistance today?