He ran out of stuff to name “America” so he started naming stuff “united”.

DIE, HERETIC!

$19.99 a month for Unlimited flushes!

There’s actually a holster made to attach to your bra.

It’s called the… Wait for it…

Flashbang.

I wish I had thought of that.

No, no… There’s definitely a Gundam with its dick out making that shadow…

The point of the app isn’t to get you dates, it’s to get you to use the app so they can sell your data.

If you get into a relationship and delete the app, they’ve lost a customer.

I have one of the Powershot hand staple guns where the handle actuates at the front, so you’re pushing down where the staple comes out instead of at the opposite end and it’s the best damn stapler ever.

I don’t know why it’s not a more common thing.

Violence & Physical activity to the point of exhaustion.

Working a heavy bag or chopping firewood are great examples.

I’ve always been partial to:

“You’re at the top of the bell curve!”

Because it sounds like a compliment, gets taken as an insult, but really you’re just calling them average.

It’s a whole different level of demoralizing when they finally figure it out.

That chick was the perfect level of petty! Video cracks me up every time.

“Soo… We just gonna call it here, or…?”

This is why McDoubles are like $3 instead of $1.

True, but they made up for it with Hades.

Supergiant has a damn good track record.

I still want Transistor 2.

You forgot the $1776 check for America 250.

It’s South America now!

*weak

Belly Drum…

the websites are enshittified also

Enshittification feedback loop.

Websites don’t have to provide relevant information quickly anymore, because Google is doing that for them.

There was a girl in my high school’s jazz band that was like 4’ 8" and played the baritone saxophone.