Hi,
I’m using Actual Budget and I connected my company’s bank account (wich is on someone’s name) with it to sync all transactions.
From a privacy perspective, I share your concerns. This was the reason I haven’t connected any of my personal accounts.
The sync in itself is useful, but if you’re making a routine to add an entry in Actual everytime you’re making a purchase, you’ll get the most of it without trading your privacy.
I’m not familiar with any of those two, but yes, you can add split transactions.