Trigger warning: this could be upsetting
Shortly after graduating school, I hung out with someone I met once before and was raped and have some trauma in my background. It was aquaintance rape I guess? I barely knew him. There’s other bad stuff that’s happened that’s also horrifying, some of it worse than that.
I am biologically male and effeminate, but don’t want to have a female body. I don’t really feel like anything and sort of don’t care what people call me. I am slightly asexual just from trauma and don’t really feel like I exist in a way. It wouldn’t surprise me if I’m not around in another decade.
I support trans people, but feel like putting he/him next to my name sort of implies a more clear identity than I have or implies I care about how people label me. I don’t. I sort of barely exist and don’t like to imply otherwise. People can call me anything, I don’t care. I don’t see myself as female or a they or it. I don’t see myself as anything.
I almost want to go like (he/him/*) but I am afraid this would be disrespectful.
I truthfully would like to be (he/him/🫥/💀) which would obviously be seen as demeaning. I feel like anything other than normal parantheticals opens the door to a distracting conversation that I don’t want professionally and often don’t want personally. And I feel like nothing after my name is dog-whistle for trans-people-are-invalid.
(I don’t care about pronouns but support trans people) also seems disrespectful and sort of like “i want attention” and I really don’t.
I wish I could support trans people without having to label myself or my body or even bring up these topics. Is there a way to do that? There probably isn’t.
When did I say I didn’t want to exist? I never said that.
In former years, they used to lobotomize difficult people, destroying neural connectiins so they would be agreeable and stupid.
They financially do the same thing to people these days. “Oh just call this number, oh they are just here to help!”
Would you expect me to respond meekly to someone suggesting a lobotomy? No? Then why are you suggesting I respond meekly to someone suggesting I do something that could cost me $25,000 and lead to homelessness?
Most of the people who get locked up give up on financial stability and just go on SSI because it’s pointless to try to have financial security after that. (The mental industry loves that because then they have a permanent meal, like a vampire who keeps it’s captive alive with free blood transfusions from the government.) You are obviously in that industry or know someone who is or you wouldn’t respond with such irrational deference to what is in fact extreme financial exploitation of the vulnerable.