When I get a match on a dating app, and it’s going well, I often run into the problem of not knowing how to conclude texting for the day. My social battery runs out pretty quickly when texting. Especially when I just met the other person that day. I usually just tell a white lie.
So does anyone maybe have a good line on how to end things casually, for the day? Or is this something you should tell them beforehand? Or is telling a white lie the proper way to go in this scenario?
Please let me know your thoughts on the matter.
In the first few messages try to establish a date, event, some meeting. Then you can just say, going to get my head down and focus on work, project, meeting, travel, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow!
If you don’t have a established next step bur want to cool things off, respond to the last message. Oh, that’s super creative, interesting, lots of think about. Brb I’m going to be away from my phone for a few hours
This has always been my biggest tip. There is zero point in making smalltalk on the app. You aren’t getting accurate versions of each other, you are getting short, premeditated responses. And, if your match is a woman, she is getting dozens of additipnal matches and conversations, you don’t want to become “boring” and forgotten. Just meet in person as soon as you can in 99% of cases.
1000% make the first meeting someplace that you want to be anyway, so if they flake you are not put out.
Seriously? I was always told you text for like two or three days first before going on a date. Oh I could definitely do that. I actually really hate texting XD
Schedule a date for a few days from the first message (usually schedules don’t line up right away anyway), then talk to them frequently until the date. If you lose interest because something weird comes up via text, you can always cancel the date.
Texting stresses me out, but I still rather talk a bit, to get a feel for the other person. If a guy presses for a meet up in the first few sentences, I might just back out and say never mind I’d rather not.
But maybe that’s just me.
The advice isn’t to press for a meeting to creep out the match, just to provide the option early.
I.e. theres a coffee shop I’ve been meaning to try next to Thing, would you like to meet there on DAY and talk about SHARED TOPIC?
If the match defers or says no, that’s fine, but the effort was made to solidify the match
That advice is from the 1950s where there were not that many options and people didn’t want to seem desperate. I like you, but not too much kinda thing.Do that today and you might as well disappear from the face of the earth.Misread your comment, I thought it was the old phone call advice.
Meeting strangers is no big deal, I meet them all the time, just have to walk outside. At the coffee shop there is strangers in line. Talk to them too. Arranging a face-to-face shouldn’t be a big deal, it’s just like cool maybe maybe we’ll sync up
But really in the first few messages? Again, I’m all game. But I don’t want to scare her off or something.
You don’t have to request a dinner date or a movie or something. That might scare her off. Something quick and simple, though, shouldn’t be a problem. “Hey, there’s a Starbucks a few blocks from you, can I buy you a drink [tomorrow, whatever]? We can have a quick chat and see if we click.” Or whatever’s appropriate for your situation. You’re not asking for a prolonged thing, just a brief face-to-face meeting, and if it goes well and you decide to go get lunch or something, fine, but you don’t need to set that expectation up front.
Exactly. Quick and simple, with none of the expectations/baggage that a dinner date implies. Coffee. Ice cream. Freakin’ mini golf; I dunno. The point is to keep it casual, non-threatening, and allow conversation.
I am a lady and yes meeting in real life is the way to go. Not a real date, no, not the first time. But to meet at coffee shop or whatever, make sure the guy is real and see if there is any chemistry.
Plus if you are a guy looking for women, I’d think even more important to make sure you are talking to a real person who wants to meet people, not a fake profile.
It would not scare me, just a daytime meeting out where there are lots of people.
It’s not pushy to ask for an in person meeting on a dating app. It’s the whole point.