show transcript

argamoth asked:
In “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”, we see The Grinch realizing the spiritual meaning of Christmas. What branch of Christianity do you think he was / converted to?

cryptotheism answered:
I think it’s probably a branch of Christianity unique to Who-kind. They have Christmas, so I assume Christ also appeared to them as a Who.

They probably have their own whimsical Dr. Seuss version of the church. He had Who apostles, and one of them was the parallel for Peter named Rocko or some shit.

lew-basnight replies:
Toying with the idea of a Dr Seuss version of the new testament in my spare time

cryptotheism replies:
The line of King David and God interbred!

Born in a manger with straw for a bed!

Rewrite the gospels! This can’t be ignored!

Where-o-where is the son of the Lord?

  • DaddleDew@lemmy.world
    28·
    9 days ago

    The majority of what we know as Christmas traditions predated Christianity. The Church just slapped Jesus onto it just like capitalism slapped mercantilism onto it later on.

    • QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works
      8·
      9 days ago

      So in other word Whobilation (who-Christmas) is just a repackage by Whotholacism of a pagan who-festival venerating the who-god Whogamesh

  • TootSweet@lemmy.worldEnglish
    17·
    9 days ago

    Now do the crucifixion, coward.

    • Gazoo bush thorns Snorlax pressed on his head.
    • Oh how Je-Who cried and how much his head bled.
    • A gatterwomp decked with all ziggles and bops.
    • They forced him to drag up a hill to the top.
    • Once there they drove nails through his hands and his feet.
    • Oh how Who-Lord howled and how much did he weep!
    • They erected the gatterwomp high on the hill.
    • And the who’s in Who-Gotha did jeer and trill.
    • A guard with his zingerbot stabbed Je-Who’s side.
    • Just to check for sure that the Lord Je-Who had died.
    • But out of the wound came not who-blood or snot.
    • But delicious glitterflam for all the little who tots.

    I can just see the trailers for Who Gibson’s Passion of Who-Christ now.

    • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      4·
      9 days ago

      I would unironically enjoy reading this. And satirical buying merchandise and putting a Je-Who fish on my car.

  • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
    14·
    9 days ago

    I like that there’s a cute reference: Peter comes from the same root as petrify, the Greek word for rock. He was the first pope, because he was the rock upon which Jesus built the church.