It can be low effort, passive-aggressive, insulting or derogatory towards your convictions.

  • EllE@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I once got a picture of a really cool present from my dad, which he said was in the mail. Never got the present.

    • tamal3@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      Maybe it got “porch pirated”. I thought I was immune from that until my things started disappearing.

  • Schlemmy@lemmy.ml
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    8 hours ago

    Pizza baking sheets. They didn’t fit in my oven.

    A paella pan. I don’t like paella.

    A coffee grinder. It just doesn’t grind coffee beans to the right size.

    A random Italian cookbook. I have a chefs degree. I’m well down with basic Italian cooking.

    See, I cook every day. Twice. And on occasion I love to cook for friends but that also means I’m over poor quality cooking stuff. I’ll buy my own gear. Most people think they do me a favour but I just have useless stuff piling up over the years. I’m grateful to get gifts but last year I just told people right a way that if they want to give me cooking related gifts I would be equally happy with some special sort of salt of some fun ingredients to cook with. Those things don’t last as long but it would make for a much better gift for a food enthousiast.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      2 hours ago

      same. Don’t buy me electronics. I’m too much of a snob to use what you bought. Either stick to the Christmas wish list we all agreed on, or keep the receipt.

      • Mesa@programming.dev
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        2 hours ago

        All the computer mice, headphones, and keyboards…

        The connector cable it comes with will spend 10,000x as much time in my hand than the item you intended to give me.

    • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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      19 minutes ago

      Yeah, it gets that way when people know something major you do. The amount of lame chemistry shirts and such is far too high.

      I know they mean well, and I definitely appreciate it. But it does get a bit old.

  • Truffle@lemmy.ml
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    11 hours ago

    Too small clothes so I’d be excited to go on a diet and lose weight… as an already very sick underweight teen with an eating disorder who wasn’t a wize zero “but you’ll get there”

    Paulo Cohelo’s garbage books to “help me with my constant depression that keeps bringing everyone down and you like books, no?”

    Stuffed animal toy thay was first intended for a baby shower but the mom didn’t want it so “why should it go to waste if you can have it as a birthday present”

    Plastic surgery offering as a sweet sixteen present “so you can feel beautiful”

    Professional acne treatment (Accutane) as a birthday present because “Oh you poor thing need it”

    A used and stained old yellow blouse “because it will make you look happier” I hate yellow.

    And the list goes on lol. That was growing up and it is one of the many reasons why I am no contact with all of those people.

    Now as an independent adult in a stable loving relaionship surrounded by nice genuine friends, I actually get very thoughtful and beautiful gifts. Some expensive, some with no monetary cost.

  • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)@lemmy.sdf.org
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    1 day ago

    Not the gift itself, but the response.

    First of all, even before Christmas I said I’d prefer NO GIFTS at all. Regardless, my dad got me some inkjet HP printer. I thanked him for it, but asked him that we’d return it. I tried to be respectful, but regardless, he got mad at me and didn’t talk with me for like 2 days.

    Later he sent me the money for it and asked me to buy something for it and show him what it was. I do not know why I couldn’t just keep it as extra money, but oh well, it had to be spent on something.
    I got a refurbished ThinkPad for that. Pretty good device, by far beating value of HP inkjet. I even got it with a 2 year warranty (without extended) like with a new device, while only 1 year is required.

    • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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      22 hours ago

      My mom knows I’m always buying tools for work (electrician) and computer-related parts/devices. She still has trouble wrapping around the idea that I don’t want (as much as I sincerely do appreciate the gesture) anything in those arenas due to specificity of requirement, that and most things of that nature tend to be expensive. She still buys little random things from Home Depot, like last year she bought this wrist cuff thing with magnets on it. Great idea on paper, but not in the field. At this point she’s getting older so I kinda just humor her.

  • Hellnikko@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    I was given 30 quarters that had letters and numbers on each one in a black velvet pouch. If you put them in a certain order, it had a message. The quarters went in year order. The message was a Bible passage according to Matthew. It was when Judas was given 30 silver for betraying Jesus.

    The context, I told one of our friends that the gifter was trying to get with his wife while he was deployed. He denied and then made me feel like shit to insinuate such a thing. Turns out, it was true.

    I still have the quarters so I could give them back some day.

    • blackbrook@mander.xyz
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      16 hours ago

      Wasn’t Judas the one who did the denying? So by referencing this isn’t the gifter calling himself Judas and not you?

  • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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    23 hours ago

    I’ve always been a computer/theatre nerd. When I was a teen my parents bought me a bike. I did not express nor have any interest in a bike, but I’m sure my mom felt I needed to go outside more and spend less time on the computer. A week or two later while upset at me about something else she complained that I haven’t even used my new bike yet.

    • Danitos@reddthat.com
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      21 hours ago

      That sounds a bit petty from you, at least from my POV.

      No matter how nerdy you are, going outside is healtht, both physically and mentally. They got you a nice gift, IMO.

        • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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          18 hours ago

          I didn’t like a gift that demonstrated zero understanding of who I was or what I would have wanted.

          There was no attempt to talk to me about going outside more or getting more exercise, I have always been pretty skinny and reasonably healthy, and at no point did I indicate that I didn’t go outside or wasn’t active.

          But I’m sure you understand my parents and their motivations better than I do.
          Lenny moment.

      • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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        18 hours ago

        They got me something I had no interest in and were upset I wasn’t using it. Ever hear the phrase “it’s the thought that counts”? It demonstrated zero thought into what I would actually be interested in.

        It’s like buying a teen a set of knitting needles and being surprised that they didn’t start knitting with them.

        • blackbrook@mander.xyz
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          16 hours ago

          Well it might have been a thought about what would be good for you (to their belief), but to be upset that it didn’t just make you want to use seems a but naïve.

        • dubyakay@lemmy.ca
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          16 hours ago

          Ever hear the saying “Don’t look a gift horse into the mouth”?

          It demonstrated plenty of thought.

          • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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            14 hours ago

            I know nothing about horses. I won’t look this gift horse in the mouth because I don’t know know what I’m looking at, but I’m also not going to be thrilled with the horse you’ve gifted me that I have no idea what to do with.

  • Elextra@literature.cafe
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    1 day ago

    In middle school, there was this one super unpopular girl that gifted me acne medication for Christmas… Unprompted. We weren’t even friends and yes, I had acne problems like most teens did.

    I never bullied anyone in my life before and since, but I did that year… This was why she was so unpopular. The year after, she called 1 of the 2 only black kids the N word, got her ass kicked and either removed or expelled from school.

    I have no idea why anyone would go around picking fights, especially with no friends to begin with. Before anyone asks, no, no mental health issues.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      17 hours ago

      One of the harshest lessons I’ve ever had to learn, especially as someone who struggled socially growing up, is that some people don’t have any friends for a good reason

    • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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      22 hours ago

      Even negative attention is better than no attention for some. Good chance she had a pretty bad home life, poor girl.

      • Elextra@literature.cafe
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        22 hours ago

        Maybe but none of us saw it, even my friend who eventually became her friend later on and into adulthood… I met her mom at least twice and she was always nice and seemed very attentive, concerned about her daughter.

        We also grew up very affluent. They were too.

  • wuphysics87@lemmy.ml
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    1 hour ago

    A fruit roll up. Some time a few months before christmas, my sister and I were fighting over the last fruit roll up in the box. She got it initially, but I got it in the end. She put it in several boxes Matryoshka style, added weight making it seem heavier, wrapped it, and put it under the tree. Imagine my surprise, after going through several layers to find that fruit roll up. Worst. Christmas. Ever.

  • rumba@lemmy.zip
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    2 hours ago

    I asked my Aunt for R.E.M. at the height of their popularity. She gave me an old REO speedwagon album that had none of their hits on them. All in all, that’s the worst, so i’ve done very well.

  • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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    2 hours ago

    The gift of world peace. It was granted to me in lieu of the PS2 I wanted by my fairy godmother. Needless to say I held my breath until she finally relented, and took it back. She gave me a PS2 and I close the curtains and put on headphones a lot when I’m at home.