I regret being a child with hobbies like every other child. Every hobby was some stupid Exquisite Talent that I had to be filmed and shoved down everyone’s throats for. Everything I enjoyed was only for the smartest intellectuals and I had to be filmed and interviewed for that as well. I literally was the equivalent of Elon Musk and Trump, everyone was so tired of hearing about what random mundane thing I accomplished this time. But I was also the asshole for wanting to be normal as I’m passing up a rare privilege everyone else wished they had.
I also regret losing interest in everything and being a literal zombie staring at walls when I wasn’t sleeping as that was proof I had some stupid disorder and needed help. I really should have just been euthanized instead. All lives do not matter.
I am extremely stupid for thinking I could turn this stupid life into one actually worth living. I will always be a puppet controlled by a disorder I never had. I will always be a joke at best and a burden at worst. I really should have just died years ago. Everyone in my life wanted me gone including me, but of course I’m stupid enough to miss all these fucking signs that my life peaked at 5 and will never improve. Life gets better when you’re loved.