There was a carpark near the Aquarium so many levels high. I wondered why there was so many cars on the ground level until I got in the lift to come down. The smell in the lift was nostril hair burning. I told the kid “don’t touch the walls and certainly don’t read anything”.

The loos at Parliament station are so hard to access that I can quite see how someone in a hurry would go to the lift at the end of the platform rather than hike up the escalators, fish out their myki, walk a large circle around the barriers, go to the loo, walk back around, fish out myki again and then back down those awful escalators again. The Parliament escalators are famous for bothering people with sensory or balance issues - instant vertigo. The designers got them so wrong that they are now world famous for bad design. I hate those escalators with a passion. I usually end up sitting down on a step and only stand up for the last little bit. God help anyone navigating them with shopping bags and/or small children in tow. They should have put proper loos on each platform, or at least on each level. And good luck FINDING the loos at Melbourne Central.