I’ve done open mics, storytelling, and I can agree that mostly the crowd is welcoming. You may get a few self-absorbed shits that are only there for the strokes, and these can usually be ignored. Which really pisses them off so is worth doing on those grounds alone. Consider using a nom de guerre - at least at first. It’s an effective way to manage the feeling of threat to one’s personal identity. A ‘poetry name’ is very traditional so I think you are in good company if you choose to use one.

Pork barrelling the low hanging fruit. How did we miss this one.

too much detail ‘granular’ is actually quite a good metaphor, just horribly overused.

Erhem, over the weekend I indulged in glace orange slices half dipped in dark choc - would recommend.

Don’t bother putting in any kind of creamed tinned soup or stew. It’ll only curdle unless your slow cooker is really really slow. Add the real mushrooms for the last hour of cooking along with extra veg. Except for peas - add for the last 5 mins if using frozen peas. For me, I’d use a couple of tins of crushed/diced tomato for liquid, topping up with water or stock or red wine. Trim the worst of the fat off the beef, then brown it before putting in the slowcooker. Brown any onions if using too. If you like a really really thick gravy, add 1 tablespoon of cornflour blended with 1/2 cup COLD water for the last 15 mins of cooking and stir it in well - this will thicken things up but will blunt the flavour, so feel free to use as much extra flavoring as you want if you plan to do this. Blend the cornflour with the water really well so it doesn’t go lumpy.

The apocalypse is nigh.

Maybe use the garden fork to stab lots & lots of holes in the low lying bits to help aerate the soil. Will help a bit but isn’t a permanent solution.

My old 1972 VW Kombivan. Still miss him. Partner on many an adventure.

Probably not the best cure

FIRST FIX YOUR DRAINAGE. This should be the 11th commandment of gardening. Aggie pipes, gravel drains, swales whatever.

Digging a hole will only drain a small part, any organics in the hole will just rot anaerobically (aka smelly). Top dressing will not change the presence or absence of oxygen. Holes gotta be connected to your drainage for this method to function. Clay is used to seal the base of dams etc for a reason - it’s waterproof.

That having been said, I’ve dealt with nasty clay in EBrunswick and turned it into a garden. First, the water’s gotta go somewhere, so decide on your drainage pattern. Remembering that water flows downhill, and that isn’t all going to be water. Draining/breaking up clay soil, there shalt be SILT. This is inescapable. So your drainage has to be capable of handling/filtering out silt. All the above cos clay IS silt that has settled in one spot due to being on a flood plain at one point or another in history.

Then using fork break up clay into largeish clumps that form rows pointing towards your drainage. I’m talking tennis to basketball sizes. You will be amazed at the amount of water released by this process. Sprinkle gypsum (clay breaker) thickly over the clumps. Leave for a couple of days. Then smash down the biggest clumps with a fork and sprinkle more gypsum. Level off the area a bit, without compacting it. Air & water gotta get in and out. Then cover with thick layer of mulch, autumn leaves, dead weeds, compost, straw, wood chips, worm castings, mushroom compost, sheep manure, reserved top soil - any organic matter you can get your hands on - even pine needles. This layer needs to be THICK. Leave for a few months. If your dogs like to dig, cover with chicken wire pegged down with tentpegs.

Turn over the area with fork after a few months to mix in the organics - the clay should have been reduced to quite small lumps by the above process, and there should be quite good vegetable matter incorporated. Water should either be being absorbed by the organics or running off into your drainage. Add more organics and mix in with fork. Ready to plant a couple of weeks after that.

Its a whole lotta work, but on the good side, once clay has been broken up, it’s incredibly fertile and you may not ever need to add fertilizer. Also retains water well so hose watering is reduced also.

Delicious! There’s something special about the creme caramel & lettuce combo.

And check for matcha powder too.

Drummer boy carol

The whole point of that carol is that ONLY a divine figure of mercy can tolerate a kid playing drums all the time. Maybe for Xmas?

Creme caramel, coffee and a lettuce sandwich please Bacon.

It’s not fun being someone else’s emotional garbage can. They dump stuff on you so they can be rid of it themselves.

That having been said, I reckon the ‘soulmate’ meme is fairly damaging to both participants, although it does allow someone to project all the virtues in the bible onto a partner who probably can’t sustain that level of expectation, particularly if young. But that is just my opinion. Gordon Lightfoot’s song If You Could Read My Mind being a fairly harsh illustration of how it feels to be the recipient of unrealistic expectations.

Sounds like mould to me. Probably won’t kill you, but ewwww.

You got it! Sending vibes across the aether.

One only. Do good to bird and beast.

I will mark your grave with a croissant.

They’ll find a way - too much salt, too much fat, too much sugar, not enough fibre - take your pick.