The real issue is that the alcohol’s pleasant buzz itself is only part of the equation. A huge portion of regular social spots come with the expectation of alcohol in your system. If you are avoiding alcohol its seen as almost “cheating” because you are inhibited and controlled compared to everyone else around you who are psychologically vulnerable due to inebriation. Drinking is a communal agreement to chemically alter ourselves to be more honest and open. Its sort of a trust serum.
Choosing to not drink isolates you. Though drinking too much can also isolate you for different reasons.
Choosing to be isolated is really bad for you, worse than the negative effects of moderate alcohol consumption. (You are not a introvert, that is not a thing)
The isolation is a personal preference. After overcoming the initial pressure to drink diplomatically (which means different things in different cultures), the drinkers usually just accept the non-drinker and continue as usual. If you are fine with being sober while the others aren’t, that actually is a viable option.
Overcoming the initial pressure to drink everytime to interact with new people at a bar might be feasible if you are allistic. That sounds exhausting to me.
And if you think that even generally good people wont subconciously place you in a different category as a non-drinker (or even someone who stops after a certain number of drinks in my case) I feel that is a naivety.
Further, even among less good people, you might want to care. There are material consequences to one’s social standing. They just aren’t immediately obvious.
Some of the weirdest peer pressure i have ever seen. Well adjusted people who drink don’t care if their friends/family/rec league teamates or whatever drink. That whole isolation think sounds like what a frat bros tell freshman.
I’m not pressuring others. I’m noting the sense of social pressure I myself have experienced and acknowledge. If I’ve had a few and even just want to stop for the night and drink water but persist and socialize: if someone I know asks if I want to join for shots, the sense of disappointment if I say no is very noticeable. Even if they say “I don’t want to pressure you to drink” its obvious that they’re subtly offended at no, even if I end up saying “fuck it I’ll join you”.
If I order a non-alcoholic drink at a lot of bars, even the bartenders get a tad visibly annoyed. If I order something alcoholic, I’ll get encouragement, like “right on” or “fuck yeah”.
Well i sure have no reason to doubt your experiences, and yes I have noticed similar. Even with decent people who arent trying to put on the pressure. Guess just the way I read your first comment.
In my experience tho, bartenders are usually the best at being understanding. I order one ginger ale (i prefer that over plain tonic water) at a bar and they tend to understand right away and keep me topped up.
The real issue is that the alcohol’s pleasant buzz itself is only part of the equation. A huge portion of regular social spots come with the expectation of alcohol in your system. If you are avoiding alcohol its seen as almost “cheating” because you are inhibited and controlled compared to everyone else around you who are psychologically vulnerable due to inebriation. Drinking is a communal agreement to chemically alter ourselves to be more honest and open. Its sort of a trust serum.
Choosing to not drink isolates you. Though drinking too much can also isolate you for different reasons.
Choosing to be isolated is really bad for you, worse than the negative effects of moderate alcohol consumption. (You are not a introvert, that is not a thing)
The isolation is a personal preference. After overcoming the initial pressure to drink diplomatically (which means different things in different cultures), the drinkers usually just accept the non-drinker and continue as usual. If you are fine with being sober while the others aren’t, that actually is a viable option.
Overcoming the initial pressure to drink everytime to interact with new people at a bar might be feasible if you are allistic. That sounds exhausting to me.
And if you think that even generally good people wont subconciously place you in a different category as a non-drinker (or even someone who stops after a certain number of drinks in my case) I feel that is a naivety.
Further, even among less good people, you might want to care. There are material consequences to one’s social standing. They just aren’t immediately obvious.
Some of the weirdest peer pressure i have ever seen. Well adjusted people who drink don’t care if their friends/family/rec league teamates or whatever drink. That whole isolation think sounds like what a frat bros tell freshman.
I’m not pressuring others. I’m noting the sense of social pressure I myself have experienced and acknowledge. If I’ve had a few and even just want to stop for the night and drink water but persist and socialize: if someone I know asks if I want to join for shots, the sense of disappointment if I say no is very noticeable. Even if they say “I don’t want to pressure you to drink” its obvious that they’re subtly offended at no, even if I end up saying “fuck it I’ll join you”.
If I order a non-alcoholic drink at a lot of bars, even the bartenders get a tad visibly annoyed. If I order something alcoholic, I’ll get encouragement, like “right on” or “fuck yeah”.
Well i sure have no reason to doubt your experiences, and yes I have noticed similar. Even with decent people who arent trying to put on the pressure. Guess just the way I read your first comment.
In my experience tho, bartenders are usually the best at being understanding. I order one ginger ale (i prefer that over plain tonic water) at a bar and they tend to understand right away and keep me topped up.