I had trouble stopping for a good while, then one day I realized it was Saturday morning and I was out for a walk on a chilly, sunny day and I felt good. It was like a switch flipped. In a flood I realized that I had trapped myself in a habit I didn’t even like any more. My health had already suffered a bit from it, and the upside of having a ton of friends and family at gatherings cracking open a few had faded, friends moved on as they do, family expanded and the growing complexity of it all made alcohol an anchor rather than a buoy, and it went from a catalyst for fun to a stress factor that only had downsides.
I realized those old days were gone. My cousin wasn’t going to hurl over the railing at my other cousin’s wedding reception while our uncles roasted and toasted him from an open trunk. I wasn’t loosening up in the hopes of talking to a cute girl at a party. I was sitting alone in my basement on a Saturday with a jug of questionable vintage, drinking because there was in that habit a faint recollection of good times past, and a compulsion that was just strong enough to keep me there, but weak enough to fly under the radar.
I love a fizzy club soda. I love a cup of mint tea. I love feeling the day as it happens, the drag of a bad time felt fully ricochets into the actual good feeling of an accomplishment, however small.
It’s not a tough choice any more, because I’ve seen it in the light of day… But it’s still there.
There are too many similarities in your back story that I have had. I can’t wait til I don’t have to cancel plans or go out to eat because I had 6 beers and counting. How may times I caught myself w/ the keys in my hand of because I was drinking so much I would forget and nearly get behind the wheel.
I cut off all my “bar friends” years ago. Too much to deal with when not wanting to drink and they are riding you “Come on just have one”
Health issues too, hopefully its not too late.
Also I have 2 restaurants owned by of close friends that I can go to. They saw how much I was drinking and banded me from ordering alcohol. I do get all my soft drinks for free, they really were worried when they said “no more”. And its not like they don’t a lounge full functioning drunks, they do. But for me they must liked me more than what I was spending a night at their bar. And it was a lot of money.
I’m sure there are a ton of grammatical error in my post, forgive my brain is in a state, but you know that :)
Thank you for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it. And I have to do it, I don’t think I have it in me if back slide and have to do this again…
I had trouble stopping for a good while, then one day I realized it was Saturday morning and I was out for a walk on a chilly, sunny day and I felt good. It was like a switch flipped. In a flood I realized that I had trapped myself in a habit I didn’t even like any more. My health had already suffered a bit from it, and the upside of having a ton of friends and family at gatherings cracking open a few had faded, friends moved on as they do, family expanded and the growing complexity of it all made alcohol an anchor rather than a buoy, and it went from a catalyst for fun to a stress factor that only had downsides.
I realized those old days were gone. My cousin wasn’t going to hurl over the railing at my other cousin’s wedding reception while our uncles roasted and toasted him from an open trunk. I wasn’t loosening up in the hopes of talking to a cute girl at a party. I was sitting alone in my basement on a Saturday with a jug of questionable vintage, drinking because there was in that habit a faint recollection of good times past, and a compulsion that was just strong enough to keep me there, but weak enough to fly under the radar.
I love a fizzy club soda. I love a cup of mint tea. I love feeling the day as it happens, the drag of a bad time felt fully ricochets into the actual good feeling of an accomplishment, however small.
It’s not a tough choice any more, because I’ve seen it in the light of day… But it’s still there.
Also, to echo another poster, you CAN do it.
“an anchor not a buoy” what a great way of putting it! I will remember that phrase.
There are too many similarities in your back story that I have had. I can’t wait til I don’t have to cancel plans or go out to eat because I had 6 beers and counting. How may times I caught myself w/ the keys in my hand of because I was drinking so much I would forget and nearly get behind the wheel.
I cut off all my “bar friends” years ago. Too much to deal with when not wanting to drink and they are riding you “Come on just have one”
Health issues too, hopefully its not too late.
Also I have 2 restaurants owned by of close friends that I can go to. They saw how much I was drinking and banded me from ordering alcohol. I do get all my soft drinks for free, they really were worried when they said “no more”. And its not like they don’t a lounge full functioning drunks, they do. But for me they must liked me more than what I was spending a night at their bar. And it was a lot of money.
I’m sure there are a ton of grammatical error in my post, forgive my brain is in a state, but you know that :)
Thank you for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it. And I have to do it, I don’t think I have it in me if back slide and have to do this again…