mood

Suggest?

So I did the math. A 30 year fixed and a 50 year fixed have a monthly payment difference of $1.

What the absolute fuck.

Yay! I love to see it. I briefly looked into it this summer but then I got distracted and lost track

I think he’s kidding.

I hope.

God fuck this timeline, I can’t tell either now.

Stuffed inside of a bag he put himself in.

I mean those are probably better ways to incite a civil war than by provoking protestors.

But what do I know

That’s actually a great point that I did overlook.

They would.

They seriously would. Authoritarianism is a pathology. Change my mind.

Of course. It all makes perfect sense.

You know, this really has me pondering my projects architecture. We have tiers of services.

At the top, we have the UI. Then we have a “consumer” an “orchestra” and a “data” tier.

Data is the tier that exclusively talks to databases. Orchestra talks to the multiple data services. A good chunk of business logic is here. Consumer uses the orchestra and handles UI requests.

All it essentially does is split the monolith into 3 services at minimum. And since it’s on the cloud, there’s a start up cost where we need to spin up 3 machines instead of whatever you can do with microservices. What benefit do I get?

Are you proposing the government drones that we haven’t been seeing are spreading weaponized drone flu, or that they have a slowed production until the spring because they are planning something much bigger?

Pidgeons. Geese. I haven’t seen a raven, or owl, or most song birds.

It’s almost like… They aren’t real 👀

I don’t pay attention to be honest. But now I might

I sort of wonder what this does to his brain.

Like he’s antisocial/narcissistic knows his policies are unpopular, but still powers through because he gets what he wants anyway.

But the ego in his head has gotten be doing little shit that’s making him think: “I’m going to nuke this stadium when I get back to the office.”

Oh. Well I’m not gonna be out that long.

I hope.

Uhoh. It really depends on how well I do and it is not well so far.

That’s a good point, but humans are basically stupid animals.

You can predict them to do something unpredictable

Man quetiapine just made me panic and feel like I couldn’t breathe. Actually there are a shit ton of “sedating” medications that do that to me thinking about it.

Except of course benzos, but thanks to those being cross tolerant with z drugs, they really gotta pump those in me to work at all.

I’ve had a little success with clonodine.

I remember abilify completely shut off my ability to think. Still had emotions, just no reasoning.

People talk about Dating being this thing that’s easy to do. Yeah. Maybe if you had any choice over what was and wasn’t difficult.

Im thinking about walking into therapy tomorrow and just asking “do I have to work if I’m just gonna be miserable anyway?”

I’m doing some particularly frequent therapy at the moment. Medication management, occupational stuff.

So far I’ve only met one person on the apps. So I’m working on finding stuff to go to to meet more people. It’s a small city, so kind of limited. Can’t move because of a kid. That makes it way harder to date too.

But one thing I’m trying to remind myself - I’ll be in my 40s when my son is 18. I figure I can probably really safely leave him at home way before that. So maybe in 5 years or so. I had a teacher in his 50’s marry another teacher in her late 20s (and they are still together 15 years later) so I’d say there’s still time.