Meta Platforms. X Corp. tell me those aren’t straight from a strangely prescient cyberpunk classic
Don’t forget the conglomerate names:
Microsoft-Activision-Blizzard
“Well, there was a bit of a stir when it was decided that since corporations are people, they could technically run for president. But President Walt Disney-Pepsi-Comcast has done wonders for the economy… given that it’s… now the economy”
Don’t blame me I voted for Tim Apple
Shinra-Mishima-Zaibatsu
Wayland-Yutani
I used to call it ActiBlizz. What am I supposed to do now?
MS ActiBlizz sounds like the next addition to MS Office but they already renamed it to “Microsoft 365”
Don’t forget Truth Social. Straight out of ministry of truth.
Especially when their main selling point is that they don’t do fact checking.
Now we just need companies to have their own militaries and then for someone to nuke one of their towers. We’d have the whole nine yards.
Amazon is a standing military or armed navy away from beating the all-time high score.
“He burned down half the city just to prove he was right and burned the other half just for fun.”
I still think it’s hilarious that Facebook renamed to Meta, and anything they did with the “metaverse” was a huge failure. It’s like they didn’t learn their lesson from Second Life.
Dude “X corp” totally sounds dystopian lmfao
Microsoft was way ahead of everyone.
Theranos sounded like a superhero villain. I guess it kind of was?
Pretty much. Welcome to the fucking future I guess. There’s no flying cars and green cities and happiness or bloody universal healthcare, instead we have corpos trying to turn us into their consumer slaves and governments turning authoritarian. Just do what you’re told and buy more. Don’t ask questions don’t think just browse TikTok, improve your social credit score, and imprint more ads into your psyche until WW3.
We’re walking into hell with our eyes wide open fuck me it hurts.
or bloody universal healthcare
I guess it depends on where you live. It’s not true of the whole world.
Murica. Yeehaw.
I always thought this for the financial market: Standard & Poor
Moody
The Fed (as in, the past tense of feed)
You want a trip down “is this a cyberpunk dystopia company” name, go check out the data brokers on the data broker registries in Vermont and California.
Acxiom, Experian, TransUnion, Oracle Data Cloud, CoreLogic, Axle, Equifax, Foursquare Labs, Inc., OnAudience, Nielsen, … … … …
Normal people reading dystopian fiction: “wow, the author really portrayed well the downfall of humanity if we were to go down the wrong path”
Billionaires reading dystopian fiction: “hey, you know what…”
I find it amusing how nobody noticed when Valve changed their name to Valve Corporation ages ago, and people keep referring to it as Valve Software.
When I think about the fact that Facebook thought it was a good idea to name their online VR platform “the metaverse“ it still breaks my brain a little bit
If you think about it, all sorts of fucked up things that are happening now have been portrayed as a bad thing in past media: Virtual words, virtual-fuckin’ land (not 100% sure this one is real, still really hoping its not), misuse of AI, smart houses, where everything is controlled by a remote (which relies on electricity / wi-fi), even stuff like alexa, which is listening to every word you say, at your home…
I’m just waiting for Omni Consumer Products (OCP) to open in Detroit.
