I have a bidet.

I don’t, I just peel off the layers at a later date.

I do both, first left to right, then right to left.
Then after a month of doing that I became a professional martial artist.

I have a rag on a drill, so circular

Now this is shitposting!

I’m more of a north east to south west kinda guy.

My ass isn’t sideways, so no.