Be the change you wish to see in the world.
It really comes down to this: if you want your own space for particular interests, you should create one and find likeminded people to populate it. Just waiting for it to magically appear isn’t going to work. Be assertive.
lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it’s not a “women’s space” as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it’s probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance “by women for women”. I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.
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Good.
As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.
They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.
Everyone Except Fascists and/or Tankies
I think that kind of goes without saying.
I wish
spinster exists but I think its the opposite where its antitrans
Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it’s less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.
The admin behind it is also a man so its for (some) women by a man. Literally the opposite.
I thought that was mastodon. Do they have a lemmy instance as well?
Thought it was
blahaj.zoneAnyway, they dont have it AFAIK
Nope, just micro-blogging.
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We all pretend that it didn’t exist and do not acknowledge its presence; that’s the informal rule.
Like Finland if it were real.
I want there to be a witchesvspatreiarchy here, but I’m a dude and it’d be messed up if I started it.
There’s a couple of them, I think.
I found this one:
https://lemmy.ca/c/witchesvspatriarchy
Edit: Better link:
Thanks!
Thanks! I was looking for witchesvsTHEpatriarchy for some reason.
Subbed.
instance friendly link for those on other instances :)
Thanks!
Mod of that community here! Please come join the coven, we’re always welcoming like-minded people!
Honestly chuckled a bit after checking out the front page and pretty much all posts were about… men
But that (making fun of men) might just be the idea behind that subreddit and I’m looking at it wrong
EDIT: I dun goofed
Probably the “vs patriarchy” part
Probably should have googled the meaning of that word first
The comments here make me very disappointed in our little corner of the internet. If anyone wants this but doesn’t know how, neither do I but I’d be happy help.
I think there’s a few tutorials about how to set up your own lemmy instance. If so compelled; go for it! If you have any sort of IT background it’ll probably be pretty easy.
I am disappointed but not surprised. The attitude of men here reminds me a lot of default subs in Reddit. People tend to be more civil, but there is so much “but what about men?” when talking about women’s issues or belittling women still. Business as usual on the Internet, but I can see why it would cause women to avoid Lemmy.
I haven’t been back to Reddit, but it makes me miss the small niches where I didn’t see that as often.
I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again, gender relations here are worse than they were on reddit when I stopped using it.
I mean there’s like 3 women on lemmy, and 2 of em are trans. I don’t think there really ARE any gender relations here.
I think you’re underestimating how many women use the internet. They just don’t go swing that around much because of the harassment it tends to attract.
lemmy =/= the internet
Ignorant
i wonder if it’s not just worse on lemmy, but gotten worse over time, with the manosphere shit and all it’s relevant problems, neither feminism nor the manosphere, or traditional male gender role has really addressed this issue comprehensively, and we’re starting to see pushback from this issue in real life now, men are enrolling into college less than women, they do worse in most environments, and also are generally worse when it comes to mental health.
I wonder if we just need like a dedicated “social issues space” where people can talk about this stuff.
It’s a more niche “back room” kind of forum, so there are less casual browsers and more technerds here, which makes it predominantly male for a lot of reasons that require a whole other discussion to analyse, but it’s exactly like when reddit was a niche “back room” website gaining popularity.
Lets not forget when reddit started, it was absolute chaos, some of the very worst communities imaginable where at home there, and the userbase RAGED every time some pedo or hate sub got purged. But they did get purged, and it became welcoming for a more diverse group of users to participate in. (Until the bot nation attacked)
womans only spaces (popping up because of male dominated spaces) do lead to male only spaces but who cares, ppl that want to be in those spaces can stay there idrc, they dont want my input I dont want theirs
Yeah, it’s natural to have spaces that aren’t for me. It’s fine. I really just have an issue with spaces where I am supposedly welcome to be hostile towards me.
There’s !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
Call it out when you see it. Keep the bar nazi free.
Pardon my ignorance but what would be the point of that? You can sign up on any instance and participate in any women’s communities. It’s not like there’s any way to verify the user’s gender anyway.
You really don’t see the benefit to a group of similar people to have a space focused on them, their wants and needs and daily lives? A community of people like them? It’s one of the most fundamental human desires.
That’s not what I said.
with enough admin and moderation you could circle jerk your way into a “woman positive” or “woman friendly space” which would be the idea.
A community like that would hopefully ban misogynists who go unbanned on other communities.
“Community” is the operative word there. OP is asking about an instance.
An instance can be a community in the general sense of the word.
Right but it has a very specific meaning here.
They (I think) meant that the instance would be a community, and the admins would ban misogynists.
I know what they meant but it’s an important distinction here.
Local feed I guess. I wouldn’t trade my french local feed to another despite the abillity to subscribe to the community that made it.
Couldn’t you sign up on another instance and still subscribe to all the same communities?
It would only work if I don’t subscribe to any other instances. That’s a bad tradeoff.
The fediverse needs a tool to surf other instances local feed cause that’s a common issue for both the threadiverse and twittoverse. Soon, we may have enough theme-oriented PixelFed instances for them to have the same issue. I believe PieFed multicommunity feeds to be the best way to tackle it so far but that’s not even a good solution.
Local feed is one of the best parts of Lemmy conceptually and a very clear indicator that the intended behaviour for users is to sign up to smaller insurances related to their location or otherwise significant individual interests.
our local french feed 🤝
D’autant plus que je ne poste pas souvent dessus !
almost all the subs that “are women” are basically astroturfed by men, or some of them are male users posting as a “woman”
If they’re tired of getting hit on or oppressed all the time then the communities for women on Lemmy might not be an upgrade. /joke
Lemmy,blahaj,zone is run by Ada, who is a woman
I wish I could recommend blahaj, there are a lot of trolls in the space that the admins have successfully been guilted into supporting.
And terrible at adminning
Ahhh, now that explains a lot.
Like what?
I rememebered Blahaj people accusing Lemmy instances of being misogynists left & right without any evidence
& were censoring anyone, just because they asked for evidence.
And what’s the insinuation here, given that being told the instance admin is a woman your response was “That explains a lot”
The insinuation here is the instance behaves like a raging misandrist, nuff said.
Create one!
Even if not, you can create one :3
Most of the fediverse is male, and there’s a significant trans woman space, but there’s no spaces that really cater to cis women or to trans men specifically that I’ve seen.
And yes, I think it’s reasonable to look for a space that is strongly (though not exclusively) cis-woman, in the same way that a Protestant would feel out of place in a Catholic community, even though they’re all Christian. I imagine most cis women feel the same way as I (a cis man) feel when going to blahaj - like a friendly, allied visitor in a foreign land.
I can’t think of a single online space ever that has catered to trans men. It’s always infinitely easier to just act like a cis dude 99% of the time.
I guess there is Hudson’s Guide lol.
We have !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
I’m on .ml, but I don’t engage in any Marxist-Leninist communities. So it doesn’t really matter on what instance you’re on.
This isn’t about recommending an instance but a community.
hexbear is heavily transfem and bans aggressively for misogyny/transphobia. Spending some time there when their recent domain crisis defederated from the rest of Lemmy was actually quite relaxing
You are right, but a lot of people want to avoid politics.
unless you have an external opinion, in which case they fucking lynch you.
that external opinion is usually either bigotry or supporting US empire from my experience. Other Lemmy spaces are just as likely to ban for wrongthink ie: not being pro genocide or whatever war libs are supporting this time.
i’ve never seen a pro genocide lemmy instance, everytime i’ve argued against it i’ve been banned or moderated on, granted my instance isn’t pro genocide, so there’s that. But that seems to be a regular occurrence on lemmy in my experience.
I posted one thing on the one hexbear thread people used and immediately got banned lmao, what a terrible instance. I just ended up blocking the whole thing because why even bother at that point.
Lemmy has an undeniable woman problem that it carried over from Reddit. I’ve lost count of the number of pathetic blokes that I have blocked on here for anti feminism.
yep it’s pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there’s dozens of comments saying “what about the men” and completely missing the point
EDIT: Look at the responses to this comment for the proof.
100%
It’s really bad and lemmy is really in denial.
Sexism here is much worse than it was on Reddit.
It feels like 2008 Reddit here sexism wise, except instead of Ron Paul libertarians tooting their horns everywhere we have heavy tracked vehicle enthusiasts.
I did hope lemmy having a left leaning culture would help but it does not.
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “everyone has that why think about women” or “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
you mean the comments that have been downvoted to the bottom?
Some instances have a left-leaning culture. Lemmy.world definitively does not.
Oh yea? One time I got kicked in the balls and it kinda hurt. Women have it soooo easy.
Alas I have been shown to be wrong! If not for my womanly ways I would have been the wiser!
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
that’s kind of just how controversial things are on the internet though.
Evens shitposting from men will get similar responses from women, it’s just how it is now. Sort of always has been.
THIS. EXACTY THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.
Me: talks about issue disproportionately affecting women.
Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.
I bet you can take any situation and make yourself a victim
Stttooooppp you’re giving me old school internet sexism nostalgia. 😂 That 2008 energy.
Do you miss halo 3 lobbies too?
Mhm i knew it haha
Lmao look at that douchebag’s comment history. Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.
Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.
oh no funny man on the internet yaps a lot about things.
I come here for sociological research more than anything.
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I seriously doubt you know what the word research means.
i seriously doubt you have any concrete view of politics or sociology to begin with.
yeah bro, it’s the internet, everybody has opinions.
“yeah so actually i think this is a big problem”
“yeah evidently it must be a problem, but like, this has always been a problem, and seems to be a consistent problem”
“YOU’RE LITERALLY THE PROBLEM!!!”
Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.
also to be clear, you are literally straw-manning me here, i’m not saying that “men have to suffer with women having an opinions” nobody cares, it is what it is, i think it’s interesting actually. You’re the one arguing that because people discuss topics that they find personally relevant is somehow “oppressing women”
I’m not saying you shouldn’t shitpost about that stuff in shitpost threads, by all means do, there’s interesting dialogue in it. I’m just saying this is a common occurrence anywhere on the internet, for any community. Hell go find a community for something as mundane as lego, you’ll find the same shit there.
Not everybody NEEDS to have their own specific issue that specifically effects them for it to be a valid or real problem. I just think this issue is far broader than most people expect it to be, ironically, i could argue you’re literally behaving the exact same way you claim i am. Because you are, and that’s exactly what’s happening.
Do i care? No, i don’t it’s the internet do whatever you want.
Yep. Picking the bear.
what if im the bear?
Nah but have you ever considered that the reason that you think that there is a male loneliness epidemic is because nobody wants to hang out with insufferable misogynists?
no, i don’t think that’s a reasonable answer, because you’re doing the fascist thing of “these people are wrong they need to change, and if they don’t we can justify whatever shitty behavior we want, because we’re morally superior”
It’s not dissimilar to a lot of nazi rhetoric.
I think the problem ultimately stems from a disconnect in social development through out society. Feminism has pushed women forward, successfully in a lot of ways, but it has also pulled men back, in a lot of ways, that’s not necessarily bad, but there is now a void there, and there is nothing filling it in, that’s why the manosphere got so big so fast. It’s literally capitalizing on an empty market.
If you want to solve the manosphere, the solution is simple, we need to fill in the void, and fix this disconnect that’s been happening for probably 75 years now. How we go about that is complicated, and not particularly simple, but i think it’s pretty clearly evident that the problem is aimless/directionless guidance for men especially in the last 20 years. Paired with historically contradictory ideas of manhood. Men are supposed to be strong and protect the weak, but it’s hard to do that when they don’t want it, or need it.
Once this void is filled in, this shit stops happening, simple as.
Why you want to create division?
