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Hey! Get those cows out of your brother’s Minehouse, okay buddy? And tell your brother you’re sorry! And don’t do it again! Leave your brother’s Minehouse alone, got it?
Yeah, Minecraft, whatever, just knock it off.
Send the kids to the mines, they’ll love it
Maybe I’m parenting wrong, but my 5 year old has no idea what Minecraft is, let alone knows how to play it. The only video games she’s ever played is some Super Mario Bros 3 on a vacation once. She doesn’t even know how to do anything on our iPad except use the sketchpad app for drawing.
Some of my fondest memories as a young child are of playing video games with my older brothers. I’d love to let my kids have a similar experience with their siblings or parents. While there is nothing wrong with your style of parenting, there is also nothing wrong with letting them play video games as long as you’re being responsible.
And your style of parenting would be a lot harder if your 5 year old has older siblings.
What, how do you expect a kid to play and have fun if you don’t get them iPads and all the games and videos imaginable?! You soulless bastard…
/s just in case. Keep it up, you’re doing a good job my brother.
Right? And I’m over here failing as a parent by buying books and letting her play outside. /s
Well that’s entirely your fault, not her’s.
Is there really fault at play here? I mean, is playing Minecraft a life skill that’s vital for a 5 year old to learn?
Vital? No.
But as a kid fiting in can be quite important, and sometimes fitting in means playing the games the other kids are playing.
My kid fits in just fine. She has plenty of friends.
I think the /s was silent in the post you replied to…
Minecraft gets even more confusing when your friend tells you he’s got to go fish for some bees.
You can fish for bees in vanilla? I thought that was my Modpack being a dick and ruining my relaxation and angry bee sometimes.
They play ATM10
Depends, if the kiddo did it in survival mode you should probably congratulate him. If it was in creative then you have yourself a griefer. Griefers should be shot into the sun. I am sorry for your loss.
Not that hard in survival tbh. Just need to get two cows inside and keep feeding them wheat. Babies grow up in a few minutes, and growth becomes exponential.
Friend did this to me but with chickens, which is worse because they lay eggs.
Free food though, it really isn’t a problem as long as you can make a stone sword which is easy
Bitch your fuckin profile picture is spagett!, if you can’t understand some oddity what broke you?
IT WAS A FULLY GROWN MAN
Children get upset about all kinds of things, and it’s important to help them understand and resolve their emotions, no matter how silly it is.
Eighty cows is a minor inconvenience at worst and like four stacks of steak at best.
So I feel like the confusion here isn’t just coming from how to handle the griefer child or how to get the cows out of the house. I think it’s more to do with the novelty of the situation.
Why is the child upset by this? Does he not like to kill cows in the game? Is there something preventing him from luring the cows out of the house? Was he just unpleasantly surprised by it and hadn’t thought through whether or not it was a big deal? There’s a lot of layers to this.
Or maybe this guy just never played Minecraft.
Maybe the child is upset because they’re overwhelmed and don’t know what to do! So many cows! Every time I try to think it’s “moo”! It’s a good moment for learning.
Exactly!
Although now this got me thinking, as a man in my forties who shares a Minecraft Realm with his childhood best friend, how I could go about getting 80+ cows into my friend’s base. We’re working on stuff a few maps away, so I’ve got time before he goes back there, but it’s a long trip and he’d notice I’m gone. I might have to hollow out a space and breed the cows over time.
When I was a kid, I would always get in trouble for getting upset. No one ever wanted to know why I was upset. They just wanted me to shut the fuck up and I often had a hard time doing so. I really wish things would have been handled the way you describe. My siblings didn’t have the same problems as me in this way so it has always made me feel alone in feeling what I feel. Now as an adult, I never know if what I’m feeling is real and valid… usually I think it isn’t.
Anyway sorry that was only tangentially related.
Not really a tangent. This stuff is important.
I think every generation just tries to do better than the previous one. I don’t know if I really got in trouble for my “big feelings” growing up, but I was often made to feel like my emotions were silly or too strong for a given situation. It got to the point where when something genuinely bad happens I almost revel in it, like I crave authenticity so much that I look forward to “legitimate” pain.
So I try to keep that in mind. When one of my kids cries about something silly, we have a discussion about whether it’s a big thing or a little thing. Sometimes I’m strategically dismissive, because they need to have a little thick skin, but if that doesn’t work then we go into feeling sharing mode.
Then we make a distinction between what we’re feeling (which is always legitimate, no matter what), and what we do about it. They can still get in trouble for bad behavior, but then we try to give them the language to express their emotions in a healthy way.
And if it’s just a genuine emotional breakdown, whatever the cause, I remember back to when I did that as a kid and was met with a cold response, and I stop what I’m doing and hold them until they feel better.
I don’t think it’s tangentially related? You have effectively contrasted the Right Thing To Do comment with your experience of the Wrong Thing To Do as well as its terrible, lifelong impact.
I too had that flavor of (let’s say unkind) upbringing and now I devote every waking moment to tearing that garbage out of me and installing something more like what u/moakley described
Thanks for helping to validate my comment haha. I do appreciate it.
Is there anything specific you’ve done and would recommend to help swing in the other direction like you’ve stated?
Was curious as to what you might have found helpful. I had tried the beginnings of CBT in the past, but it just makes me feel bad and frustrated. I have always been taught that my thoughts and feelings are wrong, and that’s effectively the core of CBT. I don’t like it because it just propagates how everything I think and feel is invalid. Yet it’s the “trendy” thing to do nowadays so every therapist and their mother uses it as their modality.
Interestingly though I don’t think that this issue necessarily stems from deliberately toxic parents. My mom did the best she could and is very loving and nurturing but I was just too much for her to know how to deal with in this way.
CBT is not supposed to teach that your thoughts or feelings are ‘wrong’ just that they can be harmful or unhelpful, and give you strategies to move past them when thats the case. Thats what emotional regulation is, and what ideal parents would teach chldren. Its perfectly valid to have a negative emotion, but not all responses to it are appropriate, and there’s no point in getting stuck on a negative emotion jist because it’s ‘valid’ especially if that can be harmful to yourself or others. Its fine to feel sad or angry, but its not healthy to want to stay that way. Youre suplosed to recognize why you’re sad and angry, take steps to fix it if you can, and move past it.
Burn the house down, free steak
Sword with looting and fire aspect. Enjoy your leather and cooked steak.
Ah, you need a creeper!
His computer is going to explode!
Don’t have a cow, son
Start by not having your 5 year old play video games, and certainly not online.
As a parent with a 5 year old, Minecraft has been very educational for her. She’s learned some brilliant spelling and keyboard skills, building hand-eye coordination, etc. plus Minecraft can be limited to just single player or private servers (I have a private server setup just for my family for example) so they won’t be interacting with inappropriate content or unvetted individuals
I’m much less happy about Fortnite for example, since that has random voice chat, is always online and forced Windows-only via anti-cheat
Being exposed to other people is not the only problem with kids playing videogames. It’s mostly the instant-dopamine.
Best to get them desensitized to dopamine when they’re young. Less disappointment when they’re older.
Minecraft doesn’t have many of those instant dope hits if you limit what servers they can play on, instead having them favor single player, as train seems to be doing. If you’re going to let them play, I think Minecraft is one of the best options.
You literally punch things and they drop stuff. It may not seem like much but kids at that age are very susceptible. There’s a reason why psychologists started getting involved in children entertainment.
Make it a learning opportunity; teach them come up with a solution. Kill the excess, or make a pen and leaf them into it, that kind of thing.
You should be able to manage that…
Yeah, children having a fight over something not immediately relatable to an adult bystander, how arcane! And it’s about computer things, so that should absolve me of any responsibility as a parent.
Digital assets have such an emotional hold on people.
I think the not knowing how to parent part was a joke. Parenting is always figuring out how to navigate whatever new problem your kids are having, and if your kids are playing Minecraft together they definitely have an parenting experience mediating in-game disputes
