I’ve been seeing poop in a path which is connected to the gates of my house. This has happened 3 times now over 1 or 2 weeks. When I saw the poop first, I thought it must be a dog. But everytime it dries (every 3 or 4 days), a mysterious pile of new shit is dropped on the old shit. It’s (very) black, very smelly and in the EXACT same spot!! Right on top of the dried shit!! I’m convinced it’s a human being. I’ve decided I’m gonna hide in some bushes nearby and catch them doing the deed. But what do I do then? What if they don’t care and continue doing it? How do I make them regret it without getting into trouble? It’d be nice if they couldn’t tell it’s me.
As someone who’s actually had this problem (in an urban area) and actually solved it, here’s what I did: Changed the shape of my fence so the amount of privacy the serial shitter was afforded was significantly reduced. Changed the position of my gate so that it no longer opened near the convex corner the shitter favored. They found a better spot and moved on.
As someone who’s actually had this problem (in an urban area) and actually solved it
That’s honestly quite remarkable
it was a wild few months
I’d like to inform you that for shit matters there’s /c/shittyasklemmy@lemmy.ml.
Just… How many people are having the exact same problem??
A shitload
slowclap
Update: It turns out the solution to my problem is Read More Theory
wat are you talking about?
Can you install a trail cam ?
Or just poop in that spot to show dominance!
Is size the only factor in asserting dominance, or does smelliness play into it as well? Do you have any diet recommendations?
Motion activated sprinkler. Works if it’s human or animal, something like The first result on Amazon, just an example not an endorsement off the particular product
that’s just a free bidet
Can’t they just rip it out of the ground?
Exactly what I though
Sounds like a territorial claim. You should probably do a bigger poop next to theirs in order to assert dominance.
Lawyer here, this is true and it’s very important you get on to this promptly, the law in this area works similarly to trademark claims, it’s a use it or lose it kind of scenario. You might legally own the title to the land but if someone else is laying a claim publicly like this for all to see in such a clear and intentioned manner and you do not respond and defend your claim vigorously and in similar fashion, you may be found to have relinquished that title. Make sure to get lots of fibre.
What’s the maximum amount of time you could tolerate hiding in the bushes with spiders & bugs, unsure when/if the serial shitter might ever return? Would you be willing to hunker down in the spider bug cold pokey bushes all night long & all the next day, and on day 3 at 4:42am you finally catch the shitter in the act? Will you have no tent? No sleeping bag? Snacks? Activities to pass time? Do you not have a job & duties to attend to, this wouldn’t interrupt your week at all? Probably much easier to install a camouflaged motion-sensitive camera to capture the shitter. Then what you do? Turn the camera footage into the police.
Damn, you’re right. Idk when he’s gonna show up. As for cameras, I’d have to buy them online and by the time they arrive, vacation would be over.
You’re in a developing country (I’m a pedant and third world means not allied with the US or the USSR, which doesn’t exist anymore). You’re on vacation. You won’t be there much longer. Leave an envelope with $20 in it and a note that says “Stop shitting here and have this with our blessing. Shit here again and we will follow you, take the money, and beat you. We are watching”
Or don’t. Whatever. You’re not there long enough to receive a package from Amazon, so why stress about it? A street sitter has a lot more problems in life than someone who can go on vacation. Their continued existence is probably it’s own punishment
Oh here’s an idea.
- Cover the pile with sand/Kitty litter.
- Get a little flag of the local football team, or whatever the local favorite is, and plant it in the sandy shit pile.
- ???
- Profit.
What does it matter if it’s on vacation? I still live here and will continue to do so once my holidays are over, it’s my home and i don’t need a serial shitter around it.
I didn’t know about the third world country thing, thanks for telling me.
When people read “on vacation” they think you’re at an Airbnb or something, not just off work at your house.
I see
Oh my fault it sounded like you were only there for a few more days based on other comments you made, sorry I misunderstood.
Would your neighbor be willing to set up the trail cam when it comes? Otherwise this seems like something that’ll have to wait till you’re back home. As others suggested, waiting in the bushes is a recipe for misery.
If you’re dead set on catching the person, start logging (ha ha! log) the days it happens. Once you narrow down the pattern try waking up every couple hours to see if they left a fresh one, then you have a future stakeout time. Once you have the pattern and time window, grab a friend, a couple clubs, and when you catch them, persuade them with reason, logic, and threats of violence
Print out the Lemmy thread where the guy needed to hold his shot in for 5 days and leave it neatly folded next to the poop.
Wait, this is on a vacation? Who cares lol it’ll be over soon enough
Noo? I’ll still be living there when I get back from work each day
Oh, it sounded like you were only there temporarily on a vacation. Living there definitely changes things.
In any case, it sounds like you’ll likely need to invest in a security camera.
You’re telling us more about yourself than you might intend.
Oh you really think so? Go ahead and describe everything about me & my life as best as you can, solely based on what I said up there.
Tsk, you just told us SO much more. scribbles notes
I think the comment you are getting worked up over was intended for the OP, Karl.
Okay then I wonder why it showed up in my inbox as a response to me?
And what did I tell that I didn’t intend to?
You observe the poop is literally black, and your conclusion is it must be from a human?
Human poop is black so why not?
My friend, please run to the next available doctor
Only when there’s internal bleeding
Tf? What else would poop look like? Green?
Are you telling me your poops are solid black every time?!
No?
Thank goodness.
No, it is not black.
depends on diet and age / oxidation of the log
It is.
Blacker than bear poop?
I haven’t seen a bear
Well yeah they try to avoid humans
Find out where the shitter lives and return the favor.
How rural is your path? I discovered recently that big fat raccoon poops are very similar to human poops.
No raccoons here
Do you live in an area with lots of homeless? That seems most likely who would do that. Or some mentally deranged person. Either way, be careful with those types of people.
You could try the photography/videography aspect to bring them to justice or the classic scare and/or beat them with a baseball bat
What’s preventing a person bent on harassing you from coming back another day when you’re not home with a bigger bat? Why the need to incite violence here? There’s so many better ways to sort this, including a frank discussion, practical joke back at the offender and anything in between.
Those are valid ways to approach the situation too. I’m only suggesting more options that I hadn’t seen mentioned already
Super soaker full of pepper spray/oil. Spray them in the any sensitive exposed area.
Can You Go to Jail for Pooping in Public? https://legalclarity.org/can-you-go-to-jail-for-pooping-in-public/
It’s possible for legal consequences if you can get video of them doing it.
Some sort remote controlled spring trap to fling the poop up onto their butt.
Hide out and spray 'em with the water hose or a supersoaker.
Only bad thing is then you have wet human shit in the same spot.
You could buy a toy camera. Pretty sure most people don’t want to shit in front of a camera
