What’s wrong with carrying a swiss army knife? I always have it with me. It’s been with me at all my dates. No tree carving, though.
This thread reminds me — I need to get my machete sharpened.
(unrelated note — I still think one of the funniest lines in Nacho Libre is the kid saying “This was my Grandmother’s machete.”)
All the people justifying carrying a knife everywhere: context, and also the kind of knife. I remember once being in the labor and delivery ward of a hospital and a guy visiting pulled out his wallet to sign in. He must’ve been one of those every day carry chumps because like 8 things fell out of his pocket, including a pocket knife that was at like 8” long.
What fucking threat are you gonna have to neutralize at the maternity ward you fucking nerd? Or do you think they’re gonna let you cut the cord with that dirty ass flea market knife that’s probably blunt as shit. All you’ve achieved is making everyone around you uncomfortable because america is loaded with incidents of mass violence.
lol one of the things we have to do in psychiatry is go through every patient’s belongings on admission.
We’ve seen all kinds of things from drug paraphernalia to weapons to dildos (and one dude just had the whole lower half of a sex doll) but in this context the thing that takes the cake was the patient hallucinating so bad they were talking to the demons more than us and it turned out there was a loaded gun in the bag they’d had at their bedside for 8 hours in the ED. The honorable mention is the lighter that looked like a gun that I put in a little plastic baggie with a note covering it that said ‘THIS IS A LIGHTER’ so that no one would panic when they first saw it.
Honestly I don’t even care all that much we really do live in an area where you might just want to have something on you even if it’s just a nice hefty flashlight. I’m probably not going to win a fight, but I’ve always said I’ll at least take a testicle with me and leaving behind some tetanus doesn’t sound too bad either.
It’s because of the implication.
What do you mean one of them? What kind of moron doesn’t carry a knife as part of their regular kit? Just today, I forgot my knife and was boned because I couldn’t open a thing until I got home. Knives are handy.
We should only question those who don’t regularly carry knives. Are they even trying to be contributing members of society at that point?
I always have a pocket knife with me. 🤷♂️
Most of the time, it just gets used as a screwdriver. Maybe they should make pocket screwdrivers that have a secondary knife function… 🤔
Mine has a permanent place on my coffee table, but I rarely carry it with me, and haven’t felt I needed to. It mostly get used for opening packages.
I always have a knife on me at work. 9 hours a day 5 days a week for over 20 years. So naturally i also carry a knife when i don’t work. I’m so used to having a knife and there isn’t a reason to not carry one imo
I had to stop when I started flying a lot. Had so many knives confiscated…
that would be called a victorinox
'eyyooo!
but nah they’re great.
i just wish they had more edge retention than a toblerone
'eyyooo!
no but seriously a swiss army knife is a very useful pocket thing
Lookup the Kershaw Select Fire. Primary Knife, but fits normal screwdriver bits.
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Yeah, I don’t really think of those as pocket tools because they can be a little big and heavy trying to pack as many tools in there as possible. A Swiss Army knife is just about all I ever really need in terms of spontaneous tool requirements. Flathead, corkscrew, bottle opener, knife, scissors, toothpick. Perfection.
sorry for amazon link, but here ya go
Why are people so weirded out by one of the oldest tools we have?
I agree.
Boy Scouts used to get jack knives in 3rd grade.
My pacifist mom brought me all the guns I wanted when I was a kid; by the time I was about 12 I decided guns were for little boys and put all of mine away. Never felt the need to own one.
My pacifist mom brought me all the guys I wanted when I was a kid
nice
Edited, and you have a filthy mind.
My pacifist mom brought me all the guys I wanted when I was a kid
Um…
Edited, thanks for being pervy
[jk]
and put all of mine away
Mines too?!
The landmine is a purely defensive weapon, unlike a gun.
They’re especially useful for defending against innocent civilians decades after the war ends.
It’s cheap and effective against invaders, sometimes when you’re in bind you need to use terrible tools

Depends on how you use the gun. But that’s the thing about landmines, you “plant” them rather than “use” them, and pure fate alone is the arbiter of the mine’s “use.” Landmines kill indiscriminately, they don’t care what team you’re on, how old you are, if you’re even a combatant at all or just a 6yo civilian child, but a gun at least requires a person to make the decision to act or not. It is for this reason that I contend while guns can be (not always are) used morally, landmines cannot, even when they do happen to find a “correct” target.
I just realized this isn’t NCD…
People are utterly terrified by the idea of something that could cause consequences if wielded improperly.
Or, stated another way:
People are terrified not just of accountability, but of potential, theoretical accountability.
Hyperconsumerism?
0 attention span?
Things are supposed to all be instant, temporary and ephemeral, nothing that implies the potential of long term consequences can be considered without a level of genuine terror.
I had never thought of it that way. You are absolutely correct on the accountability.
Also depends on the size of the knife.
Pocket knife: cool. Rambo knife: get the fuck out of there
I don’t get it, it’s like self infantilizing. Their mommies cut up their food for them.
I think a sizeable factor for the disdain is that EDC-bro that everyone knows who use their knife for everything even when the proper tool is right next to them. Or even the ones who carry an assault-type knife (like a karambit) holstered on their belt just for showing it off.
Those specific people sorta remind me of those fedora-bros where they think of it as an status symbol.
Have fun explaining to your date why you have a knife while they make this face.

Mf has never seen a tree in its natural habitat
Knives are normal things to have around. This is like freaking out because you found out someone has a lighter
Huh, you must get afraid in a steak restaurant.
Follow the thread, this is about whipping a knife out on a date by a tree, presumably with no witnesses.
It would only be concerning on the first couple dates and mostly because of the declaration of love on a first dates less so the knife. I would imagine if they’re in the heart carving phase she would know he carries a knife by then.
Making shit up doesn’t help your argument.
What did I make up? The no witnesses? You’re right, carving in trees on dates is usually done with lots of people around.
Yeah, you made up a scenario that fits your narrative.
k
🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤡🤡🤡🤡
Because knives are dangerous and we live in a society where you don’t need constant access to a knife.
Edit: turns out knife nuts are just as stupid and crazy as gun nuts…
Tell that to the EU beurocracts that put a stupid tab in the plastic bottle caps that I now have to cut.
I’m flabbergasted as to how you managed to live long enough to learn the English language, and never had to, like, open a box
no, you’re just wrong.
Knife access is needed frequently enough to warrant at least a nice a little slip joint. You can use them to trim loose threads, open boxes, trim plastic tabs/flashings, dig out splinters, remove bee stings…
My wife asks to borrow a knife most days, and when I’m not carrying one, she gets flustered, yet refuse to bring her own.
Depends on the knife really. Even just a 1” non-locking blade on a multitool has excellent utility.
It’s a balance between usefulness and looking like a Crocodile Dundee cosplayer. You take what’s appropriate for where you’re going.
I would say that locking blades a generally safer for the user than a non-locking blade.
Absolutely. Sometimes jobs exceed the abilities of a non-locker and then it gets dangerous.
A smaller blade is less dangerous but not safe. You wouldn’t give a 3 year old a multitool with an exposed knife.
And the second part of the argument was that you don’t need that utility all the time. 99% of the society can get their things done without carrying a knife around.
Thus someone constantly carrying around a potentially dangerous tool would look weird. I’m sure a hammer would also have great versatility but when you see someone casually lugging a hammer around you wouldn’t find it weird?
A smaller blade is less dangerous but not safe. You wouldn’t give a 3 year old a multitool with an exposed knife.
You wouldn’t let a 3 year old cook dinner for himself either. A guy owning an oven is a huge red flag
“A toddler shouldn’t have one, so there’s no reason to ever carry one.”
Do you even listen to yourself?
Uhh… They mentioned a toddler to enforce the argument that a knife, regardless of size, still carries an inherent risk of cutting oneself.
And a pencil carries an inherent risk of poking ones self. Is it unreasonable to carry a pencil with you?
You can do 99% of things without carrying a GPS, phone, internet browser, 3 cameras, a compass, an MP3 player, a TV and contents of the Library of Congress around, but no one bats an eye about someone bringing their modern smartphone literally everywhere.
I’m not 3, I am a competent adult.
I personally wouldn’t go that far, but I’m not 3 either.
Knives are dangerous. No argument there. Hell, my car keys can be dangerous too. But they are also utilitarian in a lot of different and innocent situations. Having a simple pocket knife is not a bad idea.
- Cutting open boxes
- Cutting wire or string or that flat plastic tie used in packing
- Stripping wire
- Dislodging items
- Scraping things
- Peeling apples
- Whittling
The point is, I’d be less concerned about somebody having a pocket knife than a gun. But, that may be because I’m from the South and it’s more common down here; not that guns aren’t common, but that knives are very common.
Hell, my car keys can be dangerous too.
I would bet money that the person you’re talking to thinks we shouldn’t be allowed to drive cars either
Scraping things
Remind me not to loan you my knife.
Same with “dislodging items”
Enjoy your soft bubble wrap life.
This does depend on where you live. In a dense city where you always have access to stores and services, it’s not as vital. Meanwhile someone who lives and works in an isolated area would want to keep more tools on them or in their vehicle (flashlight, first aid kit, lighter, multitool/knife, etc)
turns out knife nuts are just as stupid and crazy as gun nuts…
Best to just ignore the type of person who carries a weapon like a women carries a full makeup kit.
Both do it for the same reason, impressing men but neither will acknowledge it and get irrationally defensive if it’s pointed out.
If this wasn’t true, they would be downvoting, they’d just ignore it and move on, like a real man but they can’t because they aren’t.
The opinel I carry only seems like a weapon to the weakest and softest whiny diaperbabies.
People need comforting lies. The weakest use sarcasm as a substitute for intelligent discourse.
Whatever you say bubble boy.
Can you explain in detail HOW knives are dangerous? Like more dangerous than the internal combustion engine.
They might cut their fingers while using it to cut their food, they haven’t graduated to forks yet so the likelihood of it is high. And that’s with mom’s supervision.
Did you just seriously ask how knives are dangerous? As if they are inherently not dangerous? And then compare it to something nowhere near related as if to discredit the other poster?
Seriously dude, stop being a troll. Do better!
Edit: turns out knife nuts are just as stupid and crazy as gun nuts…
Nah I’m good fam, you don’t have a nuanced understanding of the topic and have issues of your own…
A knife is about as “inherently dangerous” as milk. Properly kept, it’s never going to be an issue. Accidently leave it on the floor, and someone can slip or get cut.
Being responsible dos not remove a danger from existence. Accidents can still happen. Intent can change. The danger is always present. You even acknowledge this in n your last sentence.
Yes, being responsible and respectful of a dangerous item (e.g. knife, gun, whatever) is always good, and will minimize the danger. But the danger is always present, and thus always requires the responsibility and respect.
I still believe my original point stands.
My point was that spilled milk is just as, if not more dangerous than a knife. Everything in life has a degree of risk. Part of being an adult is managing or accepting those risks. You can roll off your bed and get hurt, does this mean that there is no place in society for bedframes? Perfectly healthy people are going to die or get seriously injured from falling down stairs today, shouldn’t we ban multi-level housing as a response? Probably hundreds of people are going to get cut or die from a knives today, is that a reason not to carry one?
For me, no. I have lots of useful things I do daily with a knife. Not carrying a knife when I needed one has caused me many more issues than carrying a knife when I didn’t. However, if you live in a perfect pampered world where you never need to cut, slice, open, poke, pry, trim, shave or shape anything, I could see why carrying a little pocket folder might be an unnecessary risk. I live in a safe place where crime is low and dangerous wild animals are few, so I don’t carry a firearm, it’s an unnecessary risk and an uncomfortable inconvenience for what I would get out of it.
You seem to have come under the impression that I’m against knives.
I was also calling HikingVet out for what I believe was a bad faith argument.
The danger is always present. Hahaha, like the knife I have folded in my pocket might suddenly attack me at any moment.
I collect multi-tools, there’s always a knife on me bc they all have knifes. I mostly have them for scissors and can openers and they’re awesome!
Yup. Nephew printed me a wall mount knife rack to store my favorite ones by the door. Never leave home without a knife.
Favorite one and approximate price?
I carried a Benchmade mini griptilian for 5 years before I lost it. Paid like $119 around 2010. Amazing knife. Steel was a little soft though.
Now would be a Spyderco ambitious, some Kershaw assisted opening knife, and a Benchmade bugout knockoff I got from AliExpress that I love. Great size and fit the budget for what I use it for. I have some others in my camping gear, but don’t know names of them off the top of my head.
I can’t be dropping hundreds of dollars on knives I can easily lose.
Couple Leatherman like the skeletool too, had it for almost the whole warranty. Now it rides in my IT crash bag.
You can also do it with a sharp rock, or a key…
Has this person never heard of swiss army knives?
Now you’re telling me all of them went on a walk with soldiers from Switzerland? Be serious.
Whenever I see this, I think of an Encyclopedia Brown story. I don’t remember the whole story, but somehow culpability for the crime he was investigating was proven by initials that had been carved in a tree long ago and thus were now high up on the tree, as it had apparently grown considerably in the interim.
He proved that this was fraudulent, as trees grow from the top rather than the bottom, so the initials would have been at roughly the height at which they were initially placed.
edit: Grammar.
Dude I loved the concept of Encyclopedia Brown but so many of the resolutions revolve around the most obscure of knowledge. Like yeah you get to figure out who don it but holy crap relying on knowing the exact dimensions of a US dollar bill to identify the coin collector as the culprit is quite a stretch for 8-12 year olds
The problem with the encyclopedia brown crime-solving was that everything was predicated on being guilty until proven innocent. Almost every single one of his ‘cases’ was never really solved, the perp usually just confessed as soon as a single lie was ‘proven.’
Wasn’t knowing obscure knowledge the concept of Encyclopedia Brown?
I meant it’s the whole you have to try to figure out who was lying before reading the last part. I’m realizing as I type this it could’ve entirely not been an intentional part of the reading experience of those books and just something my mom inserted when she was reading them to me
Sounds like a damned good mom. Kudos to her for working so hard.
Holy cow, 40 year old memory unlocked.
Happy to be of service!
Some reason? I always carry a knife.
You must be a true romantic.
The one guy in the room
“Let me grab the scissors real quick”
“No need, I have a knife!”
“Oh that’s okay, they’re in the drawer right here”
“LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT”
I also carry a knife; it’s for when I’m NOT at (someone’s) home, typically when I buy some food that needs a little extra effort for eating, e.g. a loaf of bread, whole fruit, cheese, or just opening the package. And there’s a multitude of other rarer use cases.
Them scissors in the drawer at the base of the tree?
My trusty Opinel
I carry a No 12 for work most of the time, when I pull that one I get a few frowns. It’s great for cutting baguettes though, or splitting kindle…
Careful with cutting wood, the (carbon steel) blade can break.
Why the fuck would someone need to carry a knife at all times?!?
Edit: Geez guys okay okay it was a joke dammit!!
I’m always a bit bewildered when I get that question right at the moment I take my knife out to help someone open or cut something.
Like, you just needed a knife right now, I got one, I help you, and then you ask me what I carry a knife for?
For exactly this!They’re useful if you spend a lot of time outdoors or in almost every blue collar job.
I leave the sheath knife in my car after work though. Wouldn’t take it on a date or carry it around normally.
Yeah, okay…
Because they like the utility?
Because it’s a useful tool
Because every day im forced to drive an incredibly unsafe machine that has the highest chance of anything i interact with to kill me. A machine so unsafe that in the event of a collision, the safety systems could kill me. My knife has a seatbelt cutter and a glassbreaker, as do every one of my knives. Why would you not carry a knife? Do you carry your keys? Or your wallet? Do you out on clothes every day? You act like its some difficult process to grab my knife when i grab my keys.
I also carry a knife always, use it all the time for boxes and whatnot. Would never consider using it as a weapon for like self defense, that’s why I carry the gun at a times.
Knives can come in many varying sizes and form factors, and can be specialized for usage in many practical and commonly encountered situations.
Utility knives take this concept further and often feature multiple additional, opposable heads geared toward other common household uses, such as screw driver heads, bottle openers, nail files, or even little teensy weensy scissors.
A) it’s not as romantic when you realize the tree really doesn’t like this
B) I almost always have a knife on me (technically 3: 2 in one multitool and 1 in my other, smaller multitool)
I’m picturing the multitool having a smaller multitool as one of its tools
I remember king of the hill having a small wd40 to open the lid of the big wd40, but I can’t remember if they ever did the same with a multitool.
I thought I remembered The Simpsons doing this gag, but I found the scene, and it has a bunch of sub-tools, but no sub-multitool.
Simpsons did… n’t do it?
Hahaha nice.
A) it’s not as romantic when you realize the tree really doesn’t like this
The heart is fertilizer, for compensation
I carry my multitool everywhere that I won’t find metal detectors. Knives and pliers are possibly the two most useful tools in existence.
My most used multi tool tools in order. Blade, pliers/wire cutters, pry bar, bottle opener. With bottle opener a very distant fourth
For me while working, it’s probably phone, mini screwdriver, bit driver, pen, then laptop.
Bit driver is second on my list of next multi tool features. Only thing higher is a blade that opens without unfolding the pliers.
Imagine not carrying a knife everywhere you go.
EDC. Never leave home without one.
I hate to have things in my pockets, so I don’t carry anything more than the absolute essentials of keys, phone, and wallet. I count on one hand where I needed access to a knife when I didn’t have one, and that was only because I forget to put it back into my tackle box after sharpening it.
The EDC crowd always tries to convince me I need a knife on me at all times because there are constant reasons to need one, as if I don’t experience what it’s like to live without a knife in my pocket every single day. I literally can’t remember the last time I needed a knife and there wasn’t one within a few steps. Why would I want more crap in my pockets when it’s not serving a need? There are knives everywhere, just put it in a drawer. If you need to work outside you can put it in your pocket then. EDC has nothing to do with utility, people just don’t want to admit it’s a hobby.
EDC crowd is carrying ridiculous amount of shit in their pockets. Fuck that
Mfw when someone has two things in one pocket
People laugh at me for carrying the EDC basic tactical flashlight, knife, multitiool, gun, measuring tape, fidget spinner, lockpick set and a lighter. What if you need them walking to your car smdh. We’ll see who is laughing then!
Aww fuck I forgot my wallet
I like how you have to make shit up because “a multitool fits in a pocket alongside a wallet” is too reasonable for you to engage with
It’s a joking exaggeration my man. I don’t care if you carry around a whole toolbox or go empty pocketed. Happy Christmas,
Most pocket knives dont go in your pocket, they clip onto it for easy access. Theyre a tool that in certain cases needs to be accessed quickly or reliably.
So when you hear “I don’t like things in my pockets” your first assumption is that the speaker is unaware that hanging things off the side of their pockets is an option? Fine. For the pedantic: I don’t like having more than the bare minimum number of things in, on, or around my pockets.
Either way, still doesn’t change the fact that a very large number of people (myself included) have no use for a pocket knife in our daily lives.
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