Another article about the same case makes this smell even more like The Onion: https://www.mtvuutiset.fi/artikkeli/vanhempansa-pakastanut-mies-perustelee-tekojaan-jopa-muinaiset-faaraot/9391918
An elderly doctor says he froze his parents’ bodies at his father’s request. During police questioning, he spoke of pharaohs, catacombs, and Elon Musk.
“My father’s wish for me, as his eldest son, was that his body be mummified and preserved, and not disposed of by society through cremation or burial,” the man said during police questioning.
He says his father advocated for “ecological diversity, a pleasant lifestyle, and freedom of religion and funeral rites.”
“Even the ancient Egyptian pharaohs spent half their lives preparing for death. So did the richest man in the world, Elon Musk, who wants to be buried on Mars. I’ve heard this from my father before.”
According to the son, he was supposed to build a burial chamber for his parents. At first, his father had asked him to build the burial chamber in the United States. The family’s third child, the sons’ sister, has lived in the United States for several decades, and according to the son, his parents visited her there every summer.
“My father believed that his body would remain ‘forever’ and allow future archaeologists—if they were so inclined—to study what the human body was like back then. This isn’t some delusion of grandeur, but rather a product of the thinking of that era,” the man explained.
He said he must fulfill his father’s request to the end.
“This must be seen through to the end. I have promised, and I have a sacred duty to build the burial chamber and prepare the eternal coffins,” he said.
I feel like he’s not really getting on with building that burial chamber though.
Is the world getting massively stupider or am I just noticing how stupid its always been???
Mitch McConnell?
What brand freezer?
Sounds really reliable, and I’m in the market for one
Good luck finding a freezer nowadays with that kind of build quality.
I hope he left a good review online
Excellent, reliable freezer.
Kept my father safely frozen for 30 years. Would buy again for Mom.
Minimal freezer burn, still tasted fine.
Funny how the translation refers to an 81-year-old man as “the boy.”
I thought my parents were cold.
And they thought it was bad when they froze me out of the will.
THE CYLINDER MUSK NOT BE HARMED.
I guess that’s a pun, not a typo.
I get it. My grandma’s remains have been in my kitchen for more than ten years now. It’s been on my TODO list the whole time, but like, she’s not going anywhere.
Father died 30 years ago, but he heard his father talk about Elon Musk? Just a lil bit of psychosis there
Im confused how this man is claiming that his father “wanted a burial like Elon Musk” if his father died in 1996 when nobody knew who Musk was.
So, it could’ve been a simple mix up. People (old people, like Pharaohs but also modern people like Elon) talk about preserving bodies and his father talked about this too. This in this case being preserving bodies, not Elon.
I know language-wise the ‘this’ could have been Elon. Dude is clearly a few donuts short of a dozen, but the article is translated from Finnish. I’m sure it could be lost in translation or something.
Maybe he used AI to get out this situation, and the AI threw in Elon Musk into the mix.
and allow future archaeologists—if they were so inclined—to study what the human body was like back then.
Archeologist studying bones in a long-unpowered freezer:
“Serial killer. Definitely a serial killer.”
And millinia later someone recovers some chronoradiography data proving it was a ritual suicide to achieve divine preservation through bulk paper roll storage in the tomb.
I wonder if it’s possible to affordably DIY a freeze dryer large enough to hold a human body. In principle such an innovation would allow low-cost, low-skill DIY mummification.
Sure. If you wait long enough, any freezer is a freeze dryer. Thats what freezer burn is.
Freeze drying machines just speed the process up with heat cycles, vacuum, and possibly some circulation at certain points in the cycle. But importantly, in order for freeze dryer machines to actually work decently, the material needs to be cut into very small, fairly even chunks.
Whole bodies are one case where sublimation alone is probably the best bet, maybe make the whole thing a vacuum chamber to drive moisture out faster, but skip the heat part. Importantly, this apparatus would never be cheap if you install anything other than freezing capabilities. Vacuum chambers are difficult to make, and they would need to run for a very long time to fully dry a body.
But the takeaway is if this guy was telling the truth about his absolutely unhinged plans, he at least stumbled upon a solution that would eventually preserve a body. Its a very fragile preservation, but it could work, sure.
I suppose especially if the freezer had a drain line and a defrost cycle, a regular freezer would dry out a body quite effectively over a long enough time. (Ideally you would remove the moisture from the freezer entirely, not just leave it in the freezer as ice. Maybe a DIY approach to mummification could go like this:
- Obtain chest freezer with a defrost and drain line feature.
- Place body in bottom of freezer.
- Pour a large quantity of salt on the body until completely covered.
- Turn on the freezer and let it sit for a very long time, like a year.
The problem with just freezing the body, without removing the moisture, is that to me this isn’t true mummification. To me at least, a “mummy” is something that can be left in ordinary room-temperature conditions and not undergo further decay. While freezing a body will preserve it while cold, the minute you warm it back up it will start to rot. To be a proper mummy, it has to be able to survive outside of the freezer. Removing moisture would be critical for this.
I don’t know why I’m writing about this. But sometimes it’s fun to approach unhinged problems from a real engineering point of view. Sure, you can read a book on how the ancient Egyptians did mummification, but that’s not exactly replicable today by ordinary people using commonly available materials. The Egyptian technique requires a lot of skill, many specialized tools, and a lot of rare ingredients. What I’m wondering is with modern technology, if there’s a way to democratize mummification, to allow it to be approachable by the common man using readily available tools and materials with little requisite knowledge required.
I don’t think freeze drying is ever going to be true mummification (based on your definition of storing it in room conditions) regardless of if there’s a mechanism to remove moisture from the freezer space.
The long-term freezing process itself dries out the body, so its just a matter of waiting before it fully dries out, that part isn’t a problem, and nothing extra really needs to be done to dry it, but what you are left with is basically a sponge of organic material that will want to soak moisture from the air. So so much surface area for moisture to settle into, and then your super dry person starts to get a sheen of mold…
But in total fairness, no mummies can actually be stored in room conditions without degradation for exactly the same reason. Museums put them into climate controlled cases and work very hard to make sure they don’t deteriorate. The only reason Egyptian mummies survived as they did was that it’s pretty dry in the desert, and those tombs were pretty well sealed from weather fluctuations. Most (perhaps all, but im not confident enough to say that) other mummified bodies we’ve found have been frozen. I think (though I’m open to correction here) those basicallly have to stay frozen, or they start to deteriorate. (These didn’t fully dry out because they were encased in ice)
There’s also bog mummies who stay preserved because they’re in an anaerobic environment
There are also swamp mummies that happened because the swamp may lack oxygen that is needed for proper decomposition. Those are not human-made, of course
Some are human made, sure it’s just by dumping a corpse into a bog, but we have evidence of the Irish doing just that (though we don’t know if it was to preserve them)
Oh, TIL, thought it’s too random for use by humans
“yeah I was supposed to build a burial chamber for my mom and dad, but I procrastinated. just a little bit.”
I hate it when that happens
Do you have an idea how hard it is to gather all the resources and money for labor to build a pyramid to put the chamber in ? In this economy it must not be cheap.
Ante-chambers? In this economy?
An 81-year-old man stands accused of two counts of violating the sanctity of a grave
What grave?
Apparently they dug up another grave for some reason. The parents thing is a sidenote, not the actual crime I think
I’m going to be cremated. That way my kids don’t have to pay rent for my body to be located taking space somewhere.
I’m donating my body for science and medical purposes, then they do the cremation for free. Help science, least burden on family.
First healthy organs to patients who need it.
The rest to science.
Anything left can be cremated.
I think a lot of those bodies just end up getting used for target practice essentially… Or to test weapons.
I doubt that, at least where I live that’s highly unlikely. As far as I know, most of the bodies are used for medical students for practice and education.
Yeah imagine a bunch of random kids cutting yiu open playing with your testicles trying to impress a girl in the class… This happens. I know because my medical student friends from the dorm used to take about the weird stuff they did. There’s also the ever growing “bodies” exhibition… And again my testicles inside out for people to be impressed…
But maybe it will help something. It’s not a bad cause.
Lol I couldn’t care less who fondled my dead body in class.
Also the Bodies exhibition is metal as hell. Ending up in there would be a win in my books.
I’ve also looked into it but your body basically need to be donated within 24 hours after death. Makes it basically impossible to have a funeral. Like I don’t give a fuck, but my loved ones probably do.
Your family gets the cremated remains after they’re done with it. I guess it might be like a week or so?
We’re not big on ceremonies anyway, so delaying for a couple of weeks or holding a wake without any physical remains wouldn’t be a big deal.
I plan on being Crème brûlée’d.
You should consider being creamer-mated instead of. That way your loved ones get to put you in their coffee every day.
i hereby declare this my first angry upvote
But how will you show off with your graves brand in that case? I’m thinking gucci for me, probably leased though …
How about my ashes get made into fireworks?? Yeah! That would be kind of cool!
Mixed with cocaine and snorted by family and friends as a sign of respect.
That thought have never occurred to me, definitely a cool idea!
That freezer-burn is going to be nasty
