I have this argument with my wife often. I like to cook, and for me cooking is more than taking frozen meatballs and dumping them into a pan full of jar pasta sauce. I would rather make the sauce, maybe have some meatballs made in advance. My wife seems to think that pre-made stuff or mixes are the way to go. I would rather just make pancakes scratch, which isn’t hard, where she would rather I just open the mix, add water, and make the food. But I do agree that having a frozen lasagna is better than taking the full effort when I just want to get dinner going. So where are your eat the pre-made vs make it from scratch?
If you take the time to make food, especially smelling it as it cooks, it gives your body time to get excited about it and improves digestion.
Pro tip, make the premade stuff. Make like a gallon of pasta sauce and freeze/can it all. Make like 5 pounds of meatballs and freeze them.
I like to make my pasta sauce when I can, from tomatoes. If you are a fast chopper, it goes by really quickly. Super thin slice it, add some diced enough, maybe some shredded carrot and celery, add some crushed garlic, salt, pepper and some seasonings. In around an hour or so you will have made a bunch of it.
Also look for professional advice for canning, cause idk if my way is the safest. I boil some water in the can in the microwave, dump it then add the pasta sauce, and close it really tight with an oven mitt.
I also grind my own meat, with just a knife. Dice the meat into small cubes and mince it for a while. I do it until it can form a cohesive meatball. Also consider what you’ll use it for, if its just being tossed in a bolognese sauce, it doesn’t need to be so fine.
You can make pizzas ahead of time too, roll the dough, add marinara, mozzarella and wrap it in foil and put it in the freezer.
I make my own stock too. I’ll collect bones and veggie scraps in a freezer bag, and when it’s full, I dump it in a slow cooker, set it and forget it. The store bought stuff is basically just water. If it’s tasteless, it’s baseless.
I’ve also frozen lasagna portions too, fully cooked. If raw its impossible to cook them without completely de-thawing them.
I also have a box of instant cake batter I mixed together myself. It’s like a year old but it’s still not terrible!
You enjoy cooking, she doesn’t. You can cook from scratch, she can heat up the frozen stuff. I don’t see why this is cause for an argument.
Yeah, I personally despise cooking. I’ll do anything to get my meal the quickest and with the least amount of effort and mess possible. I don’t see the big deal. If people want to cook from scratch, go ahead. I’m just not going to be the one to do it. Why does it matter if one person prefers to cook one way and one person prefers the other?
Edit: If it’s specifically pancake mix that OP’s wife prefers, maybe there is something about the flavor that she likes better with it. My brother also weirdly prefers instant mashed potatoes over homemade…even if he is not the person making them. With certain things, some people just have a preference it seems.
In this same vein, I’ve never had a from-scratch brownie that I like better than the box brownies.
She will insist on the mixes.
As in when you cook she wants you to use the premade stuff? Why?
Nostalgia for what her mother used to make.
NGL man, you’re coming across as Defensive Internet Man on this. You two “argue frequently” about this, she “seems to think” mixes are the way to go when it sounds like it’s really only pancake mix that’s hanging you up and you know perfectly well why she likes pancake mix over scratch. She “tried to pull” nostalgia on you as if missing her deceased mother is a trick she’s playing on you.
Amateur advice from someone with no special related experience: any time someone says they like a Thing because it reminds them of Close Dead Relative, maybe just take their word for it and let them be.
Edit: and apparently she’s doing the grocery shopping. I’m starting to wonder who plans the menu throughout the week and how these disagreements are playing out from the spouse’s perspective.
Yeah maybe she might be a little overreaching there? Forcing someone to always make (and eat) the thing you prefer is not a healthy relationship. Time to compromise.
With OPs tendency to trickle in less flattering details only after 2-3 comments in, I’m skeptical she’s “forcing” him to do anything. This is a one-sided perspective from someone intentionally devaluing his spouse’s perspective.
Would she be open to use the pre-made mixes as a base and then you improving on them? I love to cook from scratch with nothing but fresh vegetables and base ingredients; it really makes me happy and, if I do say so myself, I do a good job at it (it is indeed a time consuming experience). My mom cooked from scratch and the taste and process of pankakes starting from scratch is familiar and comforting.
I have also learned that there is a lot that I can do by using pre-made ingredients, and that sometimes it’s a huge advantage because I can then focus my cooking creativity on the parts that are less about ‘turning the ladle’ and more about personal time and experience. Some examples:
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Pasta sauce: Buy a decent tomato basil sauce. Then add caramelized onions (40 min), mushrooms, artichokes and spices. Now I can focus on what the sauce goes on top of.
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Pankakes: Some of the store bought pankake mix is pretty great, I especially love the Ube mix from Trader Joe’s. If you are not making your own mix, then you can really focus on creating some excellent and amazing hme make toppings. It’s a good excuse to perfect a recepie for marmalade or make a perfect mini fried chicken from scratch to go with that pankake.
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Mac’n’Cheese: It’s absolutely possible to make Mac’n’Cheese from scratch, but also delicious to start with a box, and then figure out how to max it Gormet in all different ways.
just some ideas.
For all these responses, it’s not just pasta sauce or pancake mixes. And yes, the she does let me doctor things up sometimes. It just gets irritating when I make a sauce, it’s delicious, and then she buys a jar version because “you like this kind of sauce”. I found a great soup recipe I want to try, ask for specific ingredients and she just buys the canned version of the soup. I’ve talked with her before about it when she brought home a cookie mix. I used to make homemade cookies when I was depressed, and it would cheer me up. She suggested I make the mix, all I had to do was add some eggs and water, and we can have the cookies. I had to tell her it wasn’t the cookies that made me feel better.
It sounds like you should be doing the shopping when you want to do the cooking.
Talk to each other, apologize, and compromise. Sometimes do it your way; sometimes do it her way. Understand and forgive each other, enjoy both approaches, and be happy about the situation.
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Yo man, that’s a legit resson for her to prefer one type of cooking over another
Compromise, then?
Perhaps every other night you can cook from scratch, and cook as she likes on other days. Or, you could try to replicate the flavors she’s looking for in your cooking. Involve her, have her try tasting some sauce you’re making or whathaveyou and then try to see if you can nudge the flavors in a direction she likes.
Having a frozen lasagne is better than taking the full effort when…
Last month i made two lasagnas in one day and had none of it. I cut them up in pieces and froze them into 24 pieces. Now we have home made lasagna for those days where we dont feel like cooking dinner. It really does not need to take too much time and if you enjoy it, there is no need to not do it.
I would prefer to make it from scratch. But it’s usually cheaper to use frozen and I’m a broke bitch, so that’s usually what I have.
Pancakes definitely don’t matter. They’re easy because it’s just mixing a few powders and some milk or water and egg. Why not just buy those powders already mixed with a binder? Unless it’s Bisquick. Fuck Bisquick pancakes. They’re just flat dinner biscuits!
It does make a huge difference to have a decent mix and Bisquick isn’t filled with all the crap of a standard mix. But remember Bisquick isn’t really a pancake mix: it’s a baking convenience combining a handful of common ingredients in common proportions. If you don’t want the convenience, do it yourself. It doesn’t really even take more time but you have to have the ingredients on hand.
While I like the flatter style pancakes, if you want fluffier, thicker, make some bacon. Seriously, if you give a little time for the mix to do its thing, Bisquick will fluff right up. Make the mix, cook some bacon, put the pancakes on: bingo, fluffy pancakes
Pancakes definitely don’t matter
Hard disagree. I don’t want 1/2 C of high fructose corn syrup, emulsifiers and preservatives in my pancakes, thanks!
1.5 C flour, 1/2 Tsp salt, 3 Tsp baking powder, 1 egg, 1/4 C butter, then whole milk until you get the consistency you like. Best pancakes ever. People who need pancakes to basically be a vehicle to pour pure sugar into their mouth haven’t had good 'cakes.
People who need pancakes to basically be a vehicle to pour pure sugar into their mouth haven’t had good 'cakes.
Do… you not put syrup on your pancakes?
Certainly, but do you not think that adding sugar to the pancakes as well as adding sugary syrup on top to be a little bit too much? I think it tastes best when you have a slightly salty, doughy pancake and then you can add the sugary syrup to that
I certainly don’t. The best pancakes have butter and very little sugar. Maybe I’ll add a drizzle of ultra dark maple syrup if I want that taste, but I certainly don’t drench it.
The proper amount of syrup would be “soaked”
My man!
Tell me more.
I’d like to make these pancakes you describe. I’m assuming you melt the butter first before mixing it in? Roughly how much milk is a good starting point?
I used to make Bisquick pancakes all the time, and recently changed to a name brand just add water kind because I tried it for camping once and realized it tastes just as good as the Bisquick, or good enough. I’m assuming that’s because Bisquick pancakes are also not actually that good, based on others in this thread.
I like convenience, but I also like good food. I’m gonna make both and do a blind taste test with the wife.
I will detail my typical pancake process:
- Add 1.5 C of all purpose flour, 1/2 Tsp salt, 3 Tsp baking powder to large mixing bowl. Whisk together for like 15 seconds.
- Heat 1/4 C of unsalted butter (half a stick) in microwave. Use spoon to make a small pocket in center of dry mix.
- Add butter and one whole egg to the pocket, begin to mix with dry mix with spoon, slowly working together starting from the middle. Don’t turn it all at once or it will cake up badly.
- Once the mixture starts to get a bit dry, start pouring milk in, small amounts as you continue to mix. The mix will expand, get dry, add milk, etc, until the entire mix is wet and combines well. Good pancake batter should pour relatively poorly, as it is just barely too thick to run, but you can add it to a pan with a spoon. If it’s a bit too runny for your liking it’s no big deal, just add a bit of flour.
- Ideally you have a cast iron pan that has been heating for this time, medium heat. On my coil burner I’m usually set to about 4.5. Too low will take forever, but too hot will cook the bottom way too fast and they burn. It takes experimenting to get your setup perfect. I suggest using a bit of butter before you add the batter: dollop it on, push it around the pan, then wipe dry with a paper towel. You don’t want sitting butter in the pan, as it will make the cakes heavy and weird tasting.
- Add batter to your liking. Once the batter begins to bubble up on the surface, flip it over. The second side should cook for a bit less time than the first.
My ideal pancake is a nice golden brown on one side and maybe slightly darker on the other, with a very subtly undercooked center. My partner always eats her body weight in cakes when I make them. I hope this works for you! Please tell me if you have other questions.
Replace half your milk with buttermilk and watch then grow super fluffy in the pan. And a nice flavor as well.
I only buy krusteaz for pancakes. I don’t really think the amount of effort it would take to hand-make a similar batter would be worth it, nor would it taste remarkably better.
Though, for actual food, I have the same sentiment as you. I like to cook and experiment, and I have a fairly easy time adjusting things by taste, but I don’t have the time/energy/money to be doing everything from scratch.
Pancake mix in particular benefits from the large scales at which the pre-mixed stuff is made. Measuring out those smaller proportions of dry powders precisely and accurately is much more difficult at home even if you opt for using a scale instead of measuring cups. Just read the ingredients list to avoid the brands that may include the extra binders and other ingredients you want to avoid.
bisquick isn’t pancake mix. you need to add some oil and an egg or two.
but even then, fuck bisquick pancakes.
Your way is always going to be significantly healthier. Among other issues I think you’ll find eating food your wife prefers puts you both well over the recommended sodium intake for a day. This is likely to shorten your life due to heart health.
The healthiest way to shop is to stick to the outside of the super market and skip the packaged foods in the middle.
Nostalgia or not, eating packaged food to often is very unhealthy. Maybe broach it with your wife and ask her if you can satiate her nostalgia in moderation. Having something she really loves out of a package only once or twice a week.
Salt is really the least of the worries with boxed slop
No, it’s really not. If you read the label you might be surprised how often just one meal puts you over your max recommended daily amount, and by how far.
Excessive sodium has a much stronger and well proven connection to health problems and early death than most of the other crud in boxed slop
excess salt can be washed out by drinking water… 15 ingredients that normal person can’t pronounce correlates with obesity, heart and other chronic medical conditions that people living under “modern” food supply suffer from.
My stance is that if you make it from scratch then you know exactly what is in it. If you buy premixed then you don’t. Even worse if you buy pre cooked or even frozen after cooking then you’re basically eating like if you’d eat reheated leftovers, half of the flavour which makes it taste good is gone.
If time is a problem I can live with not having the most of the flavour, but otherwise I totally enjoy the fresh made.
Your health says avoid pre-made mixes as much as possible. I’m no salt-phobe (insufficient salt is a greater concern for 99% of people than too much), but even I shy away from the insane amounts of salt/sodium in anything packaged. Some stuff has more sodium in it than anyone should have in a day.
Plus, pre-made mixes often aren’t anywhere near as good as making something yourself, and usually more expensive, even allowing for your own time.
There are exceptions of course, but I have spreadsheets to calculate costs of mixes, meals, you name it, and it’s rare when something is cheaper to buy pre-made.
Dishwasher detergent powder is the same cost as making myself. As is onion soup mix, gravy mix powder, etc. Most other mixes I make as I go along - making chili uses a mix of different spices which I keep on hand. And I have 3 different chili recipes that use different spice mixes, and the end result is very different. I have a few recipes like this (creole/Cajun for example), that technically use the same spices, but not the same mix, and are very different for it.
I don’t understand people like your wife (or one of my siblings) that seem to view eating as just something necessary, (bless their hearts 😁, as my southern family would say)…good food is crucial to me, it’s not just something I do to get by. I mean it’s something we have to do a few times every day of our lives. I want that experience to be as good as I can as often as I can.
Speaking of creole, I started making a roux for gumbo yesterday and burned it after prepping the veggies and meat. We are pizza last night. But today I’m doing the slow 4 hours in the oven roux so I don’t mess it up again.
Roux is definitely a tough one. At least the ingredients are fairly cheap if you do mess it up, but damn you better be prepared to put in the work, endure the heat, and watch closely if you want to get it right. Damn tasty though.
Kinda depend on what thing i’m making. I’ll make pancake/cupcake/cookie/brownie from scratch because premade has the exact same efford required, while stuff like meatballs/hashbrown/nugget/sausage i’d just buy frozen because the effort to get there is high. Though i won’t get premade microwave meal, it’s usually horrible.
Somewhat the opposite.
- I seem to be the only one here who likes Bisquick pancakes, at least as a starting point (I usually add something: last time it was half a can of pumpkin, walnuts and pie spices)
- I find frozen meatballs significantly worse than hand made, plus there’s usually a lot of junk ingredients. However realistically that usually means I’ll Use sausage or shredded chicken thighs
I don’t care either way, but too many premade meals I have bought in the past were gross and inedible to a point where I had to toss them and just make food from scratch. I just keep the supplies for a quick 1 pot Carbonara in my fridge at all times - it might not be super healthy, but it’s always a predictable taste/texture and only costs about 1,50€ per Portion
Whenever we order out, when I don’t have the energy to cook my son orders the gross pasta that cost 15€ and complain afterwards I do it better.
Today I did not want to cook, so he wanted to order the carbonara… if you would serve that to an Italian they would rather jump into the Vesuvius than eat it. I just skip the meal anyway because ordering out is not satisfying to me.
So damn it, made him a take away style tortellini with spinache and ricotta, shrimp (out of the freezer) and cream with fresh herbs, and on top mozzarella out of the oven, then salmon filet on skin out of a skillet, in compound butter on young salad leaves with a mildly sweet and sour garlic vinaigrette. This is cheaper than the 15€ take away. Took me half an hour, but I am a trained chef.
I do freeze prepared meals though, but I say fresh food over anything else. I certainly don’t buy any prefab from the supermarket, mostly. I did cheat on the tortelinni.
If you have time, make food for the whole week and you eat “pre-made food” (point for your wife) made by you from scratch (point for yourself)😁
Some people don’t like leftovers, I can only figure their experience with leftovers has always been bad.
I love having leftovers around, but I make a pot of good stuff with plans for the leftovers. Some things are never leftovers because they don’t hold well (anything with leeks or tarragon for example).
Sometimes, leftovers don’t reheat the same way.
My experience with leftovers growing up was having to eating my mom’s terrible cooking again when it wasn’t even good fresh. As an adult I love them because I like my own cooking and it means I get to skip a few nights a week.
Cooking from scratch is almost always going to be less expensive, better tasting, and healthier.
Cooking with pre-made ingredients is often faster and easier.
For me, the decision is often predicated on how much energy I have. Sometimes prepping all the ingredients and the resulting cleanup feels like an impossible undertaking. Which is a shame because I’m a good cook - but sometimes I hate cooking.
Meal prepping or making batch meals is often a happy medium. Homemade food that you can later just reheat. If anybody has tips for making it feel less like I’m eating leftovers all the time, I’m happy to hear them
This is us basically. Though we’re pretty busy, so we usually try to cook 2 maybe 3 meals a week, and eat the leftovers on the days in between.
Don’t get me wrong, we cook good stuff, we just purposely make a lot. I’m not going through all that effort for one tiny meal, unless it makes sense to do so, like we won’t be home for meal times or something so it would go bad.
But we keep some premix stuff around, and I have a few fast but not so healthy scratch recipes I can whip up in a jiffy. That’s usually us on Tuesday nights.
I’ve got one where I literally just throw rice, chix broth, frozen precooked (by me) chicken, frozen mixed veggies, and garlic/other spices into a rice cooker. That way I can just slap it together, jump in the shower, and eat quick before leaving again. Sometimes life is just that way.
I try to make everything from scratch, but sometimes I make pre made when I know I’m avoiding eating because I don’t feel like cooking. If I make pre made though, I’ll always add something to it to bulk it out. Ramen? Handfuls of frozen veg. Frozen pizza? Slap mushrooms, peppers, onions on top. Pasta sauce? Spinach, homemade stock, and carrots.
To me, its about health. I know processed food isn’t healthy, so I want to mitigate the damage.
My wife is definitely team ‘make it from scratch’.
She is also a very slow cook. We also have an infant that is currently taking up 110% of our time.
It’s hard for me to justify spending two hours a night preparing a lunch for the next day. She likes to sleep in, so I never get to eat it fresh… it’s always leftovers.
I don’t mind cooking something fresh for lunch or dinner, but I’ll do something that takes 20 minutes of prep and then take care of itself on the stove or in the oven. Chilli, pot roast, or a casserole.
I think frozen dinners probably have a better balance of protein/carbs/veg than either of us makes, and at half the price.
